Skits are usually never longer than 3 to 5 minutes and are ideally somewhere around 90 seconds. Sources of your skits are imagination, Leader magazine, jokes from books, Reader's Digest, campfires, kids, and other leaders, and of course the Sunshine Nation website.

Watch out for scratch skits from the kids, because they usually aren't funny, are too long and don't make any sense, not to mention the kids forget what they're supposed to say and do. A real bore to watch. Which leads to the next point -- reserve the right to edit or veto the kids' skits, within reason of course. You've got to avoid swearing, hitting, and stupid, no-sense skits. Though I have seen some original beauties from kids, as well as some wonderful modifications from them, both of which through little if any leader intervention.

Generally, a good way to get the kids involved in a good skit is to provide them with a choice of about two or three skits and let them choose a tried and proven skit, then help them modify it to the number of kids available and the theme.

Rehearse the skit beforehand. It will increase the kids' confidence and can help to avoid whispering, fumbling, amnesia, arguing about who says what, and all sorts of problems.

This task is impossible, but essential to work on. The girls have to speak up so that everyone can hear them. Who cares how good the joke is if you can't hear it. That's where rehearsing comes in handy.

Cue cards can be useful for the kids so that they can remember their lines. Make poster size cards with large, simple writing. A far out idea, but can be useful if the kids can read. And hey! It may unintentionally turn out to be the gag of the weekend! (How about a skit involving cue cards, and the punch line being "But Sir! We can't read!")

Above all, make your skits enjoyable!

Princesses act as the pilot, co-pilot and radioman on an airliner. 4 other princesses are on the wings as the engines, on the wings of the plane.

The pilot announces to co-pilot that engine one has failed. Engine one (ham this up) sputters, makes noise and dies, Co-pilot instructs radioman to inform tower and tell them they will be arriving 15 minutes late(radioman radios tower and repeats message). Soon after engine two fails, repeat the process again but this time tell the tower they will be 30 minutes late. Then engine three with more panic tell the tower we will be 1 hour late. Finally the pilot announces the fourth and final engine has failed. The radioman then says: "Girlss I'd better radio the tower, we may be up here all day!"

Cast: 2 princesses (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions. Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required and a compass.

Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ? Co-Pilot: (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look. Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments. Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it. Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.) Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle ! Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.) Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES ! Both: (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it ! Pilot: Boy that was a short runway ! Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !

An Indian and a white man are traveling together. It's cold and the white man is shivering. The white man is all bundled up and the Indian has very little on (i.e. pants, no shirt) and his blanket. The white man complains about the cold and doesn't understand why the Indian isn't. The white man asks the Indian how he stays so warm. The Indian asks if his face is cold. The white man says no it isn't. The Indian replies, "Me all face."

Narrator: America's history is full of colorful characters. I'm sure you've heard of many that you couldn't even begin to count them. But we also know that much of our country's history wasn't written down until many years had passed. Memories fade as time goes by. Now...we're not calling our historians liars...but...things were not always the way they told us. Take, for instance, the burro express rider.

Rider: (enters pulling the burro) "Come on Speedy, those Princesses at the Sunshine Nation are waiting for their Mail.

Narrator: "Excuse me sir? Why do you call your burro Speedy?

Rider: Why, this here is the fastest burro in the west.

Narrator: "How fast is he?"

Rider: "Why, he's so fast he can dance his shoes off! (Burro dances, and removes his shoes and tosses them into the crowd and they leave.)

Narrator: And there's always the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It's really quite unlikely that he could sleep for forty whole years.

Rip Van W.: (entering) Sleep? Did I hear someone mention sleep. Oh, I'd love to get some sleep!

Narrator: Have a hard day Rip?

Rip Van W.: Day, day he says! Days is more like it. Ever since those Indian Princesses came to town, I haven't slept a wink. Their Chief keep knocking things over and tripping over things. And you should hear them laugh.

Narrator: Poor Rip, I guess he could use forty years sleep now.

Chef: (entering eating an ice cream cone, and looking over and under and around things, saying...."Nope, not here, etc. and "I know it's around here somewhere." Continuing to look.)

Narrator: Boy that ice cream looks good. Where can I get some?

Chef: Down the road at Custard's Last Stand.

Narrator: What are you looking for?

Chef: A mine.

Narrator: You mean the Lost Dutchman Mine?

Chef: No the lost Italian Mine of course. I hear they have the greatest pizza.

Narrator: There was a guy over there who was talking about pizza earlier. I think his name was Wild Bill.....(hiccup) Wild Bill........(hiccup)....

Chef: Yeah, I know him, Wild Bill Hiccup - Hiccup...(leave the room)

Characters: 6 to 8 Indian Princesses

Props: Paper sacks

Setting: Skit opens with girls standing together in a backyard. Cardboard cutout trees and bushes could be used.

1st Cub: Gee, there's nothing to do.

2nd Cub: Yeah, I know.

3rd Cub: Hey, let's have a backyard picnic.

All: Yeah!

4th Cub: But it's going to rain.

1st Cub: I don't think so. If it does, we can eat in the house.

2nd Cub: I'll bring the potato chips.

3rd Cub: I'll bring the hot dogs.

4th Cub: I'll bring the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: I'll bring the drinks.

6th Cub: And I'll bring something special!

(All walk offstage and come back carrying sacks)

2nd Cub: Here are the chips.

3rd Cub: Here are the hot dogs.

4th Cub: Here are the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: Here are the drinks.

6th Cub: (Drops his sack) Oh, no!

5th Cub: What's wrong?

6th Cub: I brought the ants!!

The scene is an art show where judges are inspecting several canvases are displayed. They comment on the brightness, color, technique, that is used on the different pictures. They select one for the prize and comment additionally on the genius, imagination, and the beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the winning picture is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, that got in by mistake. That's the canvas that I clean my brushes on.

Important Guy: "OK, Aug, I want you to sell these pencils."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "That's right, Aug. Now, when you see someone coming down the street, I want

you to tell them what you're selling."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "Yes, Aug. Be more enthusiastic about it!"

Aug, waving his hands in the air: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Important Guy: "Very good, Aug. Now, people will want to buy your pencils, and they'll ask how much they are. They come in $2, $5, and $10 packs. Got that?"

Aug: "Pen-solls?"

Important Guy: "No: Two, Five, Ten."

Aug: "Two .. Five ... Ten!!!"

Important Guy: "I think you've got that. Now Aug, one more thing. Someone might ask why they should buy your pencils. If they ask that, Aug, I want you to tell them this. 'If you don't, somebody else will'".

Aug: "If you don't ... somebody else will!"

Important Guy: "Very good. Now, get out there and sell pencils!"

The important guy wanders offstage, and Aug wanders to the other side of the stage. A man on the street approaches Aug. Aug runs to him waving his hands.

Aug, in his face: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Man on street: "Hey, you're a real jerk! How many people have you done this to?"

Aug: "Two, Five, Ten!"

Man on steed: "You're really asking for a punch in the mouth, buddy."

Aug: "If you don't .. somebody else will!"

Man on street punches Aug, who falls flat, that's the end of the skit.

Cast: Doctor, three Dads

Setting: Hospital

Doctor: Mr. Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins!

Thompson: What a coincidence -- I come from Two Mountains!

Later --

Doctor: Mr. Smith, you now have triplets!

Smith: That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers!

Third father faints; doctor revives him.

Doctor: Mr. Smart -- what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet!

Smart: I come from Thousand Islands!

Two Indian Princesses lay down on sleeping bags on the stage. Two other princesses, pretending to be bikers "ride" over to one of the girls who is on top of the bag and proceed to beat her up. They do anything they want to make it look like they have hurt him. They see him moving and "ride" off.

The girls who just got beat up turns to his buddy and says, "Two bikers just came through the woods and beat me up." Her buddy turns to her and says, "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."

This happens two more times, with the bikers beating up the girl, but on the third time, something different happens. The girl who gets beat up turns to her buddy and tells her what happened again. This time her friend says, "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."

Now the bikers come back and go up to the same sleeping bag again, and one turns to the other and says, "This girl's had enough, let's get the other one."

Akela: "Now, (girls name), you know you should always do Good Turns."

1st Girl: I tried, honest!

Akela: OK

Each Girl enters and says similar things to Akela

Last Girl: (carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn! (flips pancake over and catches it in pan). But you should see the mess in the kitchen! (other Girls look ashamed)

The players in the orchestra each hold a balloon. They blow up their balloons in unison, then let out the air in a squeak at a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue Danube" or "Jingle Bells". To end the skit all fill their balloons with air and let go at the directors signal.

This is great fun in warm weather at a campfire, and it takes a little practice for the perpetrators. There is plenty of room for variation, depending on what the Scouts can imagine and how the volunteers react at the time. As usual, the Scapegoat gets wet.

You will need an Announcer and a Pitcher, but the Batters will be volunteers. The first Volunteer should be told what is happening ahead of time, so that his performance shows others how it's done. Set up a sheet a backdrop. Two Scouts hide behind it, one with a flashlight and the other with a bucket of water (but be sure that the audience does not see the bucket). The flashlight is held against the sheet to simulate the ball. The movement of the light is the key to the whole skit.

A baseball bat or a thick stick is needed for the batter, and a baseball glove for the Pitcher. Use a roll of canvas and a stick (or something similar) to simulate the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's glove (done by a Scout behind the sheet). If it is dark, have two strong flashlights shining on the Pitcher and Batter.

The Announcer comes on stage and tells the audience that there will be a baseball pitching demonstration. He introduces the Pitcher as the greatest pitcher of all time, who will show us his famous specialty pitches. After a buildup about how great the Pitcher is, the Announcer positions the Pitcher at one end of the sheet.

The Announcer asks for members of the audience to volunteer to try to hit this famous pitcher's best pitches. The first volunteer is given the bat and placed at the other end of the sheet. The Announcer explains that the Pitcher will throw one pitch, and the Batter must do his best to hit the ball.

The Pitcher winds up and pretends to throw, as the Announcer narrates ("He's set. He winds up. There's the pitch!" The Scout behind the screen moves his light rapidly down the sheet. The Announcer yells, "Fast ball!" The Batter swings hard. We hear the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. The Announcer says, "A strike! You're Out!" The Batter returns to his seat.

Another Batter is recruited. This time the Announcer calls out a curve ball, which curves wildly across the sheet. The Batter is again called out. The process continues with a knuckleball and a screwball.

Finally, the Announcer introduces the famous Pitcher's dreaded Secret Pitch. He asks for a special volunteer, of especially outstanding baseball ability and unusual courage, to try to hit this pitch. A Scapegoat is volunteered by the Announcer and encouraged to come up.

The Batter is carefully placed, and the ball is pitched. As it comes to the Batter, the Announcer cries, "Watch out! It's a spitball!"

His warning comes too late, as water cascades over the sheet onto the Batter.

Cast: Bear, two hunters

Setting: The woods

#1: (Whispering) Ah! There's a bear! I can shoot it and I'll have my take for the day! (Bang! And the bear falls down.) Well, I'll go get some rope to drag it.

#2: No! It's mine!

#1: Hey! I shot that bear myself. It's clearly mine.

#2: Look. You couldn't have shot that bear if I didn't drive us here.

#1: Well, I've got news for you. I just killed that bear. It's mine.

#2: And another thing, ...

The two continue arguing when all of a sudden, the bear rises, growls, and frightens the two hunters away.

1st Scout "OOOOOUCH, OOOOOOH, OOOOOUCH"

2nd Scout "What's the matter with you?"

1st Scout "A bee's stung my thumb!"

2nd Scout "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st Scout "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

Cast: Actor(s), Director, Cameraman, Others in a studio

Setting: Studio

Director: Okay, People! Let's get going!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No interruptions! Action!

Actor, speaking in a dull voice, does a commercial for Scout Beer, talking about its great taste, made from dishwater and leftover porridge, and lots of the special ingredient, "Hop to it," which the Scout leader often said, from Scout camp when ...

Director: Cut! That sounded like you don't like the stuff! Sound sincere!

Okay! Let's try it again!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No buts! Action!

Actor begins again, appropriately sincere, and there are the usual interruptions by the director, saying it's too fast, too slow, whispers into the actor's ear(who then checks his zipper) until finally, everything goes smoothly. All the while, the Cameraman keeps on interrupting the Director at the same time.

Director: Cut! And Print! That was fantastic! Let's get out of here!

Cameraman: But Sir! We don't have any film!

Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)

Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)

Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?

Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.

Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)

Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?

Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?

Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.

Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)

Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.

Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?

Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year (Finally arriving at the bell) All right, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that ?

Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground)

Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground)

(Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)

Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)

Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !

(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up')

(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)

Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.

Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)

(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday !

(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)

Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.

(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig and jog around the performing area.)

Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?

Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him !

First scout walks to center of stage, stands to attention, salutes and says, "BE PREPARED." This is repeated by three other scouts. When they are all standing side by side, a loud motor horn or explosion is let off behind the audience.

The scouts then all say, 'WE TOLD YOU TO BE PREPARED'

The key performer is the Catcher, who must wave around a can of water without spilling. He simulates the spit hitting the can by tapping on the can with his finger. He will need to practice so that he does not spill, does not show the audience that there is water in the can, and can be heard but not seen when he taps the can.

The catcher sits quietly in the audience. The can of water is on the stage, but not obvious.

A Scout loudly proclaims himself as The Best Spitter In The World. He boasts about his spitting ability, saying that he can spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, who have been planted at the back of the audience, challenge him to prove it, saying that they do not believe him. The audience takes up the cry.

The Spitter agrees and asks for someone from the audience to catch for him, just to prove his ability. The Catcher volunteers, acting as if he expects to be the scapegoat.

The Spitter explains that he will stand about 20 feet apart. He will spit, and the Catcher will catch the spit, just to prove the distance and accuracy. The Catcher reacts with horror, "I'm not going to touch your spit!" The Spitter is understanding, notices the can, and offers it as something to catch with. The Catcher agrees with obvious relief.

They set up a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up and catches with a solid thump.

The Spitter takes a bow, but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, do something harder. They back off and repeat the performance from a greater distance. Again, the audience yells at him.

After several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the world! The audience reaction is predictable. They set up; the Spitter spits; the Catcher ducks, waits, moves the pan around, and catches it.

Now the planted Scouts yell that the Spitter is a fake! They say that he couldn't really spit all around the world. The Spitter says, "Oh, yeah? Show them."

The Catcher turns and throws the water into the crowd.

Cast: 2 Scouts

There are two scouts, they each say, "I'm the better thief."

"No I'm the better thief."

Then one says, "Wait, lets have a contest, we will walk past each other three times and who ever steals the best thing wins."

The scouts then walk past each other twice pulling out objects such as knife, watch, glasses, etc.

Finally on the third pass, the first scout says, "I've got your wallet, ha, beat that!"

The second Scout looks around nervously then says, "You've got my wallet, well in that case you would win, but ... I've got you're underwear!" And waves a pair of shorts in the air.

(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.)

Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.

Customer : (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.

Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?

(Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.)

Customer : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.

Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are, it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and again it falls down.)

Customer : I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.

Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little adjustment. Let me get some help.

(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)

Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem ?

Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !

Two to four hunters talking together each says that he is packing a heavier and more powerful gun to shoot with. The first starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever. Two others come over who have overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the hunters going after wolves or moose. One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going after mosquitoes!!"

Cast: Guy, 4 People on lunch break

Setting: Park Bench

Guy is sitting on park bench.

Guy: I'm waiting for my girlfriend. I hope she comes soon.

(Luncher #1 sits on bench and moves him over. #2 sits on end and they move over, further pushing guy. #3 comes, and #4 comes, each in turn pushing the guy a little until he falls off. Really annoyed, he starts to scratch himself a little, then a little more then all over. Lunchers look at each other, start scratching a little bit then hurriedly leave.)

Guy: (Sitting on bench again) Works all the time!

Cast: 1 Person, log (or imaginary mower), "Volunteer," Victim

Person: (Groans and grunts as he's bent over carrying "heavy" mower.) Uhh. (Lets it down.) These old models, I tell you. They are so heavy, and they don't work well. Maybe I should buy a new mower this week. Well, let's get going. (Pulls rip cord to start, but it won't start. Makes appropriate sputtering noises. Tries again and again. Maybe get a "volunteer" to help. Again, no success. Get your victim to try, and on first try, it sputters to great life!) I guess it just needed a bigger jerk!

Cast: Box or suitable covering, Person in Box, Announcer, Victim, regular and serving spoons, stick and log, paper and book, rubber chicken, small cue card

Setting: Circus, Boardwalk, Technology Show

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! To demonstrate my enlarging machine, I will need a volunteer! (Get your victim.) I need you to help me while I explain what is going on. Now, look at what this machine can do! Please, will you put this spoon into the machine? (He does, and out comes the serving spoon, noises.) Isn't that amazing, ladies and gentlemen! Now watch. (Victim puts in stick, and log comes out.) My goodness, something to heat your home with! This is amazing! And please put in this piece of paper. (Book comes out.) Even I am amazed! (Finally, chicken is put in, and say you expect a turkey to come out. But cue card comes out.) This is amazing! The machine says that the biggest turkey of them all is right here!

An alternate ending is to complain about how slowly the machine is working, and it needs to be washed. The operator throws a small cup of water on the side, and a moment later a large bucket of water hits him.

There are several Black Bart skits, all revolving around the basic plot of the hero chasing Black Bart. The hero and BB come face to face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the anticlimactic line of: "You get the ping pong ball and I'll get the paddles and I'll meet you in five minutes." Or "Oh, all right, Black Bart, you use that one and I'll use the one upstairs." Use the latter one when BB is trapped in some room.

This takes about six guys, who form a circle around an invisible blanket, with a small invisible guy (Bruce) who sits in the middle of the invisible blanket and gets tossed.

"We're an Olympic blanket tossing team, and Bruce in the middle here is our star blanket bouncer. We'll toss Bruce a bit just to warm up. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!"

On three each time, the team lets the pretend blanket go slack, then pull it taught. They watch the invisible Bruce go up in the air, then come down, and the gently catch him again in the blanket. Each time they toss him higher. The team has to be in sync, and they have to watch about the same spot -- the easiest way to do this is to have everyone just imitate the leader, who is the speaker.

"OK, we're all limbered up now?" The team murmurs in agreement. "Then let's toss Bruce a bit higher. One, two, three!"

Bruce comes up, and the team adjusts their position a bit to catch him as he comes down.

"One, two, three!" This wait about ten seconds, and move quite a bit to get under him. Move this way and that before finally catching him.

"One, two, three!" twenty seconds this time, almost lose track of him, adjust the position here, there, and here again.

"What? What's that you say, Bruce?" pause "Audience, you are in luck! Bruce wants to go for the world record blanket toss! Ready team? One! Two! Thu-reee!!!" A mighty toss! The team shifts positions, like trying to catch a high fly ball. "There he goes! He's past the trees! He's really up there!" pause, looking hard into the sky "Do you see him? I've lost him. Where'd he go?" another pause "Oh well." The team leaves the stage, and the program continues.

After another skit and song, and preferably in the middle of awards or announcements of some sort, "Bruce! Quick team!" The blanket tossing team runs back on stage, positions themselves this way and that, and catches Bruce. "Let's have a big hand for Bruce! Yay!!!"

Recruit three or four volunteers and blindfold each one. Have the volunteers stand in front of the audience and instruct them to take off anything they have on. The smart ones will remove their blindfold, but those caught up in the joke will continue to remove items. Continue with those remaining one item at a time, until it borders on indecency. Then remove the blindfold and let them in on the joke.

A leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire. The leader decides to use members of the audience to represent different pieces of wood. The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the volunteers are bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in increasing larger sizes. The leader then says that the fire is ready to light, strikes a match, whereupon, several accomplices yell out that its ON FIRE and dash several buckets of water on the fire.

Cast: Border Guard, Supervisor, Several Crossers, 2 Brooms

Guard: Hi, Boss! I'm new here! What do I do?

Supervisor: Well, you have to make sure that people don't try to cross the border without stopping first. You can shoot at them if you have to.

Guard: With what?

Supervisor: Well, we're out of guns, so here's a broom. People won't know the difference if you just go Bang! Bang! Bang!

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now whenever it doesn't work, here's a pretend bayonet. If they don't fall from the fake gun, you can always try stabbing them.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now go to work and don't stop until your shift is finished.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. It doesn't work either.) Boss! Boss! What do I do?

Before boss answers, crosser points a broom at the guard and goes Bang! Bang! Bang! and the guard falls.

Cast: Customer, Shopkeeper

Setting: Brain Shop

Customer: Hi! I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new personality.

Shopkeeper: (In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this brain from Billy Crystal for $5000. Here. Try it. ("Unscrews" head and plops in pretend brain.) How do you feel?

Customer: (In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marrrvelous. But I don't think it's me. Can I try another?

Shopkeeper: Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from Captain Kirk. Only $5000.

Customer: (In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from Ronald Reagan. It only costs $5000. How do you feel?

Customer: (In Ronald Reagan style voice) Wellll ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this one's still a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back. (Customer comments on the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we are. The best in the house, not famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.)

Customer: (Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the sign and calling out "PACK!" or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this is good. But I recognize it. No, wait ... it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those three famous people only cost $5000 apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person. Why does it cost $15000?

Shopkeeper: Well, it's never been used!

A group Scout goes to a new Scientific Laboratory where they have developed a new process for brain transplants. The Scouts asks to see the selection of brains. The doctor shows them a selection. (the brains may be in cans, where they look in it). The first one is marked $500.00. The scouts ask about it and are told it is the brain from a peddler. The next $1,000.00,-a policeman, 1,500.00 - a teacher, etc up to $5,000.00 for the brain of the greatest physicist in the world. The Scouts then see a container marked, $20,000.00 and ask about it. The doctor explains "It is the brain from ____________ (DE Camp Director or Leader) and has never been used!

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.

Reply: "I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them.

"I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. Final entry, without a case: "I lost my case"

This skit has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older sections (Scouts and higher) and leaders, particularly in an all-sections campfire. It is best presented near the end of the campfire, when things are winding down (and the children have settled down).

People required for the Skit: 6

Cast:

Old Man with a Staff

Spirit of the Beaver

Spirit of the Wolf Cub

Spirit of the Scout

Spirit of adventure

Spirit of the Rover

(fewer people may be used by doubling up on roles)

Skit Setup: Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each role. (Small Flashlight recommended!)

The Old Man is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly with his staff. He is slightly hunched over with age and leans on the staff heavily.

The Scouting Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just far enough back not to be seen. (They should speak loud and clearly).

NOTE: When the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be 2-3 seconds of silence before the Spirits speak.

(The memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group, so they have relevance to the audience and can feel the full impact of the skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for ideas.)

OLD MAN (Shuffling slowly around the campfire). "My life has been long, too long, and my Scouting years are behind me. My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and Alone." (Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS: "SHARING"

SPIRIT OF THE BEAVER: "I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught you Sharing and Caring for the World."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire). <Beaver Memory> e.g. "Beavers. I remember Beavers. Riverbanks and the Beaver Pond, making crafts to take home to Mom..." <etc.> (The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "A-Ke-Lah"

SPIRIT OF THE WOLF CUB: "I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your best, I led your Pack through the forest and you lived by My Law."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the campfire). <Cub Memory> e.g. "Cubs. I remember Cubs. Hot Dog roasts in the bush, my first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar races..." <etc>. (The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "On My Honor"

SPIRIT OF THE SCOUT: "I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to camp without a trace, and together we explored the land."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the circle). <Scout Memory> e.g. "Scouts. I remember Scouts. Long hikes and long camps, breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And then there was Jamboree..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "Challenge"

SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE: "I am the Spirit of adVenture. I taught you leadership and set you free, to test your limits to the skies."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the fire). <Venturer Memory> e.g. "Oh, yes, Venturers. Attending Jamboree as a Hikemaster, leading people from around the world into the Rockies. Getting my drivers license and trying to date Rangers..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS: "Service"

SPIRIT OF THE ROVER: "I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and self-destiny. We chose to give back the love we were given through Service."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling). <Rover Memory> e.g. "Rovers. I could never forget Rovers. Helping out at Dream-On, putting on District campfires. And then there were the Moots and Road trips. And camps, camps, camps." (Slows down and begins to sink to the ground. He is dying.)

ALL SPIRITS (Walk straight into the campfire circle from where they stand, if possible. They should all arrive at the Old Man's body at the same time. Wait a moment or two.)

"We are the brotherhood of Scouting". <Each section says its name in order - BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS, VENTURERS, ROVERS.> "If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."

-- Thanks to Gary Nelson

Cast: Kid, Dog, Basketball Player, Car, Jogger and Old Man

Setting: City Street

Kid: Blowing bubbles is just great. Watch. (Blows imaginary bubble; it pops and lands somewhere on the ground.) Hmm. Where did it go? I should look for it. (Goes around and exits, still looking for it.)

Enter dog, who stops, sniffs at gum, pees on it, and exits. Basketball player is dribbling ball when it gets stuck on the gum -- he tries to loosen it and finally does. Car drives right over it. Jogger goes by, his foot gets stuck on it; old man comes by and his cane gets stuck on it. Finally, Kid comes back.

Kid: Ahh! There's my piece of gum! (Picks it up, pops it in his mouth and continues chewing.)

Cast: Announcer, Boy

Setting: Stage

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the world famous WHEEL OF FISH! (Girl comes crawling onto stage.) I say, young man, what are you doing down there?

Girl: (Looking up) I'm looking for my bubble gum!

Announcer: Well, where did you lose it?

Girl: Backstage!

Announcer: Then why look here?

Girl: The lighting is better here!

These are a variation of the popular elephant jokes. They can be set up with two boys for each "joke".

Cub 1: How can you tell if a buffalo is under your bedroll?

Cub 2: The ceiling of your tent is very close.

Cub 3: Did you know buffaloes are originally from Italy?

Cub 4: You mean like in the song " Oh where is the home for the buffaloes -- Rome!

Cub 5: What do you find between the hooves of buffaloes?

Cub 6: Slow buffalo hunters.

Cub 7: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo?

Cub 8: You either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Cub 9: How can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse?

Cub 10: Try to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse.

Cub 11: How can you tell a buffalo has been in the refrigerator?

Cub 12: His hoof prints are in the jello.

Cub 13: How can you tell when there are two buffaloes in your refrigerator?

Cub 14: You can't shut the door.

Cast: Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"

Setting: Bus

Bus driver drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off the bus, holding their noses, telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the bus, until finally only Stinky and the Driver are left on the bus.

Driver: (Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it? (Smells something awful.) Hmm. Something smells -- it must be you.

Did you wash this morning?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Deodorant?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Clean shirt?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Clean underwear?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Change your socks?

Stinky: Sure! Here are the old ones!

The first Scout comes out walking around, he suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. Two other scouts come in talking about just completing their first aid merit badge and find the scout on the ground. They rush to his aid and begin C.P.R.. Adjust head, listen, feel for pulse and then begin (fake) compressions. The other scout counts. After about 3 sets, the other scout yells "switch". Suddenly the scout on the ground gets up, one of the two scouts lies down, and they begin again to administer C.P.R.

A Scout dressed in a turban enters the campfire circle. He places a blanket on the ground, kneels and begins to pry. He prays by bowing down and with his arms out-stretched, he chant "Oh Allah, bring me a camel." Repeat a number of times, and then he looks under the blanket. He shakes his head sadly and asks for a volunteer to help him. The two kneel and pray to Allah for a camel. Again the first scout looks under the blanket and finds nothing. He continues to recruit volunteers two or three at a time, each time praying for a camel. (if the volunteers are not really helping then egg them on.) When there is no more room on the blanket for volunteers the first scouts stand and says: "Allah hasn't sent me a camel, but he has sent me a lot of silly jackasses!"

Props: A large cooking pot and mugs for actors

1st Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp coffee is getting worse".

2nd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp tea is getting worse".

3rd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp hot chocolate is getting worse".

4th Scout- (Walks up to pot, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says) "I thought that would get them clean!"

Cast: 2 People, campfire blanket

Have one person lie down on his back and the other kneel directly over him. The top person wears the campfire blanket so as to hide his legs and expose the legs of the person lying down, to create the effect of it being one person sitting down.

Person: Hi there! Welcome to Don's House of Fine Exercises and Sports Medicine. Today I'm going to ask you about your regular stretching routine. Can you do this? (Lifts up a leg so that it's parallel with the chest.) Or this? (Lifts other leg.) And how about this? (Crosses the legs.) This is an unusual one. Can you do it? (Brings feet around the neck.) And let's not forget this one. Can you do it? (Stretches out the legs in spread eagle fashion in the air.) (Elicit a no answer from a volunteer.) Well, neither can I! (Stands up.)

Ask for two volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.

A customer comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered cherries. Peanut brittle? Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um, well, not today. Licorice? Fresh out of licorice.

Well, what do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Cast: Old storekeeper, very young kid (4 years old)

Setting: A Candy Store

Kid: (Kid walks up to storekeeper and asks) I want five of those penny candies way up at the top.

Storekeeper: You mean those penny candies, way, way, waaaaaayy up top?

Kid: Yes, please.

Storekeeper: Sigh! (Kid takes innocent pleasure in watching the storekeeper go up.)

Storekeeper climbs up and get him five candies, and receives the five cents.

This scene repeats itself several times over 3 more days, with the storekeeper being more and more tired each time and becoming equally more frustrated until,

Storekeeper: Oh! I see that kid coming. I know what he's coming to get, so I'll climb up now to get the candies before he comes in and have it ready for him. (Kid walks in.) I bet I know what you want. I bet you want five of the penny candies from way up top, right?

Kid: Nope! Not today!

Storekeeper: Sigh! Now I have to climb back up to put them away. (He climbs up, puts them away, then comes down.) Now, sonny, what would you like today?

Kid: I would like three of those penny candies way up at the top!

The leader gives instructions for playing candy store. He asks that one person take a long string and hold on and then adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the leader explains that this is a candy store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.

A candy store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole, draping a blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one customers come in asking for different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a customer asks what he does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two suckers on a stick, pulling the blanket away at the same time.

Have the girls march in, single file, with one girl leading them like a drill sergeant. The sergeant tells them to stop and addresses them. He tells them he has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that they get a change of underwear. The girls cheer and he cuts them off. The bad news is that they have to change underwear with one another. The girls groan.

You will need: 5 princesses, props should include a lamppost, park bench, tree.

Scene: Park area, girls walk on one at a time. This is a pantomime skit and is great to use with younger princesses and shy girls.

One CUB walks on stage chewing imaginary gum (use exaggerated motions- chewing, blowing bubbles, pulling gum out of mouth, putting it back in), leans against lamppost for a bit, takes gum out of his mouth and sticks it to the lamppost. He then walks off stage. Second CUB comes on stage, leans against lamppost, feels gum stick, pulls the gum off and sticks gum to bench. Second CUB exits. Third CUB enters and sits on bench. Notice gum, pulls it off himself and throws it to the ground. Fourth CUB walks on stage, steps in gum, removes gum from shoe and sticks it to tree. Exits. Fifth CUB enters, leans against tree and finds gum. Removes gum from tree and sticks it on the lamppost. First CUB enters again. Walks up to lamppost, finds gum and sticks it back in his mouth. Walks off stage chewing gum.

Pick a "volunteer" to be the dead Chief Shortcake (adult leader) and have him lie down covering with a towel/sheet except for his head. Have each girl repeat a line on what to do with Chief Shortcake such as: burying the Chief with all his worldly possessions, should be burned in a great ceremonial fire, put in a cave and seal him up, and so on for as many as you need. The last Indian says that they are all wrong, "I bury Shortcake" and squirts whipped cream on Chief Shortcake's face.

Performers arrange themselves with their heads hanging upside down over the edge of a table with a sheet or other drape covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin. Place sunglasses just below the chin in front of the neck for "eyes." The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is the mouth - but upside down, so to smile you need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly speech or sings a harmonious song. Several "chin faces" in a row can form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation: Have the "chin face" be a chicken instead of a person.

Two Scouts meet, and the first scout begins to brag he can climb anything.

Scout 1: "Can you climb that tree?"

Scout 2 "Sure I've done it lots of times."

Scout 1 "Can you climb the steep hill over there?"

Scout 2 "No sweat, no problem for me."

Scout 1 "How about the Empire State Building?"

Scout 2 "Done it, Did it."

Scout 1 "How about Mount Everest?"

Scout 2 "Boy that was I cold day, I've done that too. I told you I am the world's greatest climber, I can climb anything!"

Scout 1 "I'll bet you ten bucks I can show you something that you can't climb."

Scout 2 "Your on!"

Scout 1 pulls out a flashlight and shine the beam up into the sky "all right climb that!"

Scout 2 "Are you crazy? No Way!"

Scout 1 "I knew you would back out, now pay up!"

Scout 2 "I won't pay because its not fair. I know you, I'd start climbing and I'd get half way and you'd turn the flashlight off!"

Props: A good compass and a map

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try that.

John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)

Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.

Other girls : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)

Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson. There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.

Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?

Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"

Cast: Monk, Abbot, narrator

Scene: Abbot's office

Narrator: This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two words every ten years. Our friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years of silence.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Bad food!

Narrator: Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He of course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Uncomfortable bed!

Narrator: Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty, long, devoted years.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: I quit!

Abbot: I'm not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've done is complain!

The scene takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of contagious and communicable diseases, Dr. Ringworm, M.D., L.S.D., V.I.P., L.C.B. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or books. In walks a fellow (a) with an itch which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to read but is disturbs periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next to A. B gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch. When it has been well established that they have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty soon all three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and shaking every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are bouncing around in their chairs. Then a girl dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives. If possible or desired have some jazz music playing in the background for the scouts with the diseases to keep the beat to.

Second person walks in with a suitcase. First person already on stage asks where he is going and the first person's reply is that he is going to court. A little while later he comes in with the case and also a ladder. This time he says that he taking his case to a higher court.

Guy brought in - "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up pebbles on the beach!" Two or more with similar stories. Last person comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl, saying, "Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an alluring manner.

The scene is set up so that Crazy Charlie is portrayed as being in a mental institution. It's dinner time and before he can ask for anyone to pass the meat, someone calls out 37 and the room bursts into laughter. Moments later 57 is called out and more laughter results. Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him what is going on. He is told that everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the jokes.

After a while Charlie decides to give it a trial and call 52, but no one laughs; there is complete silence. Charlie asks his friend what is wrong. He friend tells him not to worry that there isn't anything wrong, some people can tell jokes and some people can't.

Characters: Several Cubs around fake campfire pretending to cook hot dogs on sticks. Two Cubs dressed as mosquitoes--antennae, wings etc.

Setting: Girls around fire keep slapping as if they are being attacked by mosquitoes throughout the skit. As the scene opens, the two mosquitoes enter the stage and continue walking randomly around the girls as they deliver their lines.

Mosquito #1: Hey, I got a good one! Which sport do we mosquitoes like best?

Mosquito #2: Easy! Skin diving. Say, did you hear what the Cub Scout said to the mosquito.

Mosquito #1: No, what?

Mosquito #2: Don't bug me!

Mosquito #1: Are you related to any of the bugs around here?

Mosquito #2: Sure. My ant.

Mosquito #1: Did you hear what the mother grasshopper said to her children?

Mosquito #2: No -- tell me.

Mosquito #1: Hop to it!

Cub #1: These mosquitoes are awful! Lucky I brought the insect repellent. (Pretends to spray air.) (Mosquitoes exit quickly -- choking and gagging.)

Cub #2: (To cub #1) Say, what has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws.

Cub #1: I don't know.

Cub #2: Neither do I, but it's crawling up your neck.

(All girls run screaming from stage.)

Characters: TV reporter, 4 Cub athletes getting ready for the Cub Olympics.

Props: Frisbee for discuss, pile for javelin, bag of cookies, toothbrush and basin of water on stand, fake mike for reporter (can be dressed in suit jacket and have ID for his station on his lapel in large letters)

TV reporter: We're here today to interview the athletes at Pack _____ as they prepare for the challenge of this years Cub Olympics. As you can imagine, it takes months of training and hard work to get these athletes ready to compete. Let's see how they are preparing themselves for the big competition. (turns to Cub #1 with microphone) Tell me, how are you getting ready for your event in the Olympics?

Cub #1: I'm practicing my throw for the discus event. (demonstrates how to throw discus using Frisbee)

TV reporter: Great form! (turns to Cub #2) and you -- can you tell us how you are preparing to compete?

Cub #2: I'm polishing my javelin for the javelin throw (polishes pole with a rag.)

TV reporter: Good luck! (turns to Cub #3) What are you doing today?

Cub #3: I'm practicing for the standing broad jump. (does a couple of practice jumps)

TV reporter: Fine! (turns to Cub #4) And what are you doing to train for the Olympics?

Cub #4: I'm brushing my teeth! (uses basin of water and toothbrush --pretends to brush teeth)

TV reporter: Brushing your teeth! What Olympic event could you possibly be training for?

Cub #4: I'm training for the International Olympic Cookie - Eating event! (pulls out bag of cookies and stuffs some in his mouth.)

Characters: Den leader, 3 Cub Scouts

Props: A pile of socks on a table. Den leader sits behind table.

Den leader: Girls, I'm pleased to announce that our new Cub Scout socks have arrived! Please step up for your supply of clean socks.

Cub #1: I need four pair.

Den leader: What do you need 4 pair for?

Cub #1: I need them for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.

Den leader: O.K. Here are your socks. Next please.

Cub #2: I need seven pair.

Den leader: What do you need seven pair for?

Cub #2: For Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Den leader: O.K. here are your socks.

Cub #3: I need 12 pairs.

Den leader: Wow, you must really be a clean guy! So why do you need 12

pair?

Cub #3: Well, there's January, February, March, April...etc.

Cast: 4 Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or nightgown), full uniform

Setting: Store

#1: I'd like to buy the Cub Shirt.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have it!") (Comes back with a shirt.)

#2: I'd like to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with accessories.)

#3: I'd like to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with pants.)

#4: I'd like to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with shoes.)

Kid: (Comes running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to Cubs without my uniform?

Cast: Director, 2 Workers, Cameraman, Clapperman, Light Man, Soap

Setting: On the Setting of a Movie

Director: Okay, people! Remember what I said about the language! Action!

Clapperman: Scene 5, Take 1!

Worker 1: (Eating lunch with #2) You know, Gerry, the wife is always nagging me for some more money. And I just don't have it.

Gerry: I know what you mean. The (DARN) kids are always ...

Director: Cut! What did I say about the language? You know the rules ... soap in the mouth. (Pantomime director washing out Gerry's mouth with soap.) Okay, let's try that one again. And watch the language!

Continues the same way, but each time something happens where a different person says "Darn" -- clapperman gets fingers caught in clapper (don't do the whole scene over again, of course,) cameraman trips while filming, light person drops light, #1 says "the darn wife ..." Finally, the director is about to start the scene again when he looks at his watch.

Director: Oh darn. Look at the time ...

Cast & Crew: Cut! You know the rules ... (Pantomime washing out mouth with soap)

Paint faces on the knees of the performers. Use dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the legs as dolls with the arms bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real clothing. Cover the upper legs and body with a sheet. Direct a flashlight (spot) onto each knee.

Cast: 2 guys, 2 bikers

Setting: Campground

#1: Well, time to go to bed. AND I GET THE TENT! (Beats up little guy.)

#2: But... Oh well, it's no use. (He sets up his sleeping bag under the stars.)

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) Ha! Ha! Let's beat up this guy! (They beat up little guy.)

Next morning,

#2: Hey! Last night some bikers came here and beat me up!

#1: You're just jealous that I took the tent. Be a man.

The next night and morning, the same routine occurs, with the little guy complaining even more. Finally, the big guy lets the little guy have the tent, with much ado about him being a wimp. That night,

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) You know, I think we've beat up on the guy outside enough the past two nights. Let's beat up the guy inside the tent tonight!

Number of Participants: 2

Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Uh, (looking for a sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm !"

Characters: Six Cub Scouts in summer uniform or Cub Scout T-shirts.

Scene: A nature walk.

Props: Cub - fashioned bouquet, with strands of ivy.

Cub 1: Gee, Fellas. I don't think Mrs. Brown's having a very good time.

Cub 2: Well, you didn't help things much, giving her that garter snake.

Cub 3: I was just trying to help her collect stuff for our nature display at pack meeting.

Cub 4: Yeah...and you heard what she said! "Nothin' ever again, that moves by itself."

Cub 3: So...now I know better!

Cub 5: Don't worry about a thing, you guys. I'm gonna fix everything.

Cub 6: Yeah? How?

Cub 5: Well, you know how nutty women are about flowers? So, I picked her this neat bunch of flowers...(he holds up bouquet, with trailing strands of ivy)... See?

Cub 6: Oh no... (wails). We'll never get to go on another hike!

Cub 5: How come?

Cub 6: Cause...that's poison ivy!!

Cast: Weakling, three or four Thugs, Old Lady, Director, Cameraman

Setting: Street Corner Set in a Studio

Weakling: Hi there. I'm advertising the great effects this wonderful vegetable cocktail, V-8, has on your stamina. You, Sir. (To a tough looking thug.) Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug: Duh, no. Real men don't drink V-8.

Weakling: Sure they do. Watch! (He beats up thug.) See? I had my V-8 today!

You Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 2: (Has crowbar) No, I don't need it!

Weakling: Sure you do. (He beats up thug.) You can tell I do! And you Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 3: Ask me again and I'll beat you up.

Weakling: Heh, heh. Did you have your V-8 today? (Thug tries to beat him up, but weakling takes care of him no problem.) So you see, having your V-8 is great for you.

An old lady walks in; weakling looks puzzled, whispers to director saying he hadn't heard about an old lady in the script; director says to go on and ask her anyway.

Weakling: Excuse me, Ma'am. Did you have your V-8 today?

Old lady: As a matter of fact, young man, I did -- and I'll prove it! (She beats him up.)

Characters: two customers, waiter. Let actors develop actions and dialogue from the situation

Props: table with tablecloth, candles, menus, etc. Most important - a storybook

Two customers enter a fancy seafood restaurant, study the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders

One customer orders shrimp, the second says, "I'd like a lobster tail, please."

Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but face audience and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster...."

The secret to success with this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You can have one doctor and different patients, but it may add greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and patient fly in and out for each quickie.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a set of drapes.

Doc: Pull yourself together!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Am I going to die?

Doc: That's the last thing you'll do.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.

Doc: Next!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!

Doc: I'll deal with you later.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me?

Doc: Have you had this before?

Pat: Yes.

Doc: Well, you've got it again!

Doc: You'll live to be 80.

Pat: I am 80.

Doc: See!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I've got insomnia.

Doc: Don't lose any sleep over it!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis and, two weeks later, my friend died of heart failure.

Doc: Don't worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll die from appendicitis!

First patient comes in hiccuping and asks to see the doctor. The second patient comes in cross-eyed, with a silly look on his face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery. They are all asked to sit down. The first person is asked to go in. There is a real commotion and the patient comes out fine. The same thing happens to the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it is time to go home. The doctor emerges with the symptoms of all his patients and goes offstage.

A person comes to a psychologist and says that he needs help, he thinks that he is a dog, holding up his hands like a dog begging. Through out the skit the person acting like a dog, does dog-like things, like scratching behind his ear, whining, etc. Doctor asks how long he has had this problem. Ever since he was a puppy is the reply. The doctor asks if he will lie on the couch but the person says that he can't since he can't get on the furniture. Doctor's advice is to make sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing any cars.

Cast: Two friends, doggie doo

Setting: Street

Two friends are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something, talking about a movie or the latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden --

John: Hey Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like doggie doo!

Frank: (Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo!

John: Touch it to see if it feels like doggie doo!

Frank: (Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo!

John: Taste it to see if it tastes like doggie doo!

Frank: (Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo!

John: Well! It's a good thing we checked and didn't walk in it!

Cast: Director, Others in a Studio (Clapper Board, Lighting Men), Mother, Son, Doctor, Undertaker, brooms for the actors

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take one!

The actors play the scene without the least sign of emotion as lighting people follow and cameraman films. Mother is flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.

Son: Mom, I don't feel too well. (He collapses)

Mom: (Goes over, looks at son.) Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to the phone, dials making click, click, click sounds.) Doctor, come quick. My son's collapsed.

Doctor: (Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's dead. I'd better call the undertaker. (Goes to phone, dials making dialing sounds like Mom did.)

Undertaker, you'd better come. I have a dead body here.

Undertaker: (Enters and begins to measure the body.)

Director: (Jumps up.) Cut! Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion AT

ALL! Let's do it again. This time, give me more emotion!

Cast: (Exiting) Right. More emotion.

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take Two!

The actors redo the scene, using exactly the same words, but with great hammy histrionics. Mom weeps uncontrollably throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same point as in Take One, the Director yells, "Cut! Cut!"

Director: That was better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it down. Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene on, Take three!

The actors redo the scene in slow motion -- talking slowly, mowing slowly. For example, when the telephone is dialed it goes click ... click ... click ... and after the doctor check's the son's pulse, the son's hand falls slowly back to the floor, etc.