Skits are usually never longer than 3 to 5 minutes and are ideally somewhere around 90 seconds. Sources of your skits are imagination, Leader magazine, jokes from books, Reader's Digest, campfires, kids, and other leaders, and of course the Sunshine Nation website.

Watch out for scratch skits from the kids, because they usually aren't funny, are too long and don't make any sense, not to mention the kids forget what they're supposed to say and do. A real bore to watch. Which leads to the next point -- reserve the right to edit or veto the kids' skits, within reason of course. You've got to avoid swearing, hitting, and stupid, no-sense skits. Though I have seen some original beauties from kids, as well as some wonderful modifications from them, both of which through little if any leader intervention.

Generally, a good way to get the kids involved in a good skit is to provide them with a choice of about two or three skits and let them choose a tried and proven skit, then help them modify it to the number of kids available and the theme.

Rehearse the skit beforehand. It will increase the kids' confidence and can help to avoid whispering, fumbling, amnesia, arguing about who says what, and all sorts of problems.

This task is impossible, but essential to work on. The girls have to speak up so that everyone can hear them. Who cares how good the joke is if you can't hear it. That's where rehearsing comes in handy.

Cue cards can be useful for the kids so that they can remember their lines. Make poster size cards with large, simple writing. A far out idea, but can be useful if the kids can read. And hey! It may unintentionally turn out to be the gag of the weekend! (How about a skit involving cue cards, and the punch line being "But Sir! We can't read!")

Above all, make your skits enjoyable!

Princesses act as the pilot, co-pilot and radioman on an airliner. 4 other princesses are on the wings as the engines, on the wings of the plane.

The pilot announces to co-pilot that engine one has failed. Engine one (ham this up) sputters, makes noise and dies, Co-pilot instructs radioman to inform tower and tell them they will be arriving 15 minutes late(radioman radios tower and repeats message). Soon after engine two fails, repeat the process again but this time tell the tower they will be 30 minutes late. Then engine three with more panic tell the tower we will be 1 hour late. Finally the pilot announces the fourth and final engine has failed. The radioman then says: "Girlss I'd better radio the tower, we may be up here all day!"

Cast: 2 princesses (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions. Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required and a compass.

Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ? Co-Pilot: (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look. Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments. Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it. Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.) Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle ! Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.) Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES ! Both: (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it ! Pilot: Boy that was a short runway ! Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !

An Indian and a white man are traveling together. It's cold and the white man is shivering. The white man is all bundled up and the Indian has very little on (i.e. pants, no shirt) and his blanket. The white man complains about the cold and doesn't understand why the Indian isn't. The white man asks the Indian how he stays so warm. The Indian asks if his face is cold. The white man says no it isn't. The Indian replies, "Me all face."

Narrator: America's history is full of colorful characters. I'm sure you've heard of many that you couldn't even begin to count them. But we also know that much of our country's history wasn't written down until many years had passed. Memories fade as time goes by. Now...we're not calling our historians liars...but...things were not always the way they told us. Take, for instance, the burro express rider.

Rider: (enters pulling the burro) "Come on Speedy, those Princesses at the Sunshine Nation are waiting for their Mail.

Narrator: "Excuse me sir? Why do you call your burro Speedy?

Rider: Why, this here is the fastest burro in the west.

Narrator: "How fast is he?"

Rider: "Why, he's so fast he can dance his shoes off! (Burro dances, and removes his shoes and tosses them into the crowd and they leave.)

Narrator: And there's always the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It's really quite unlikely that he could sleep for forty whole years.

Rip Van W.: (entering) Sleep? Did I hear someone mention sleep. Oh, I'd love to get some sleep!

Narrator: Have a hard day Rip?

Rip Van W.: Day, day he says! Days is more like it. Ever since those Indian Princesses came to town, I haven't slept a wink. Their Chief keep knocking things over and tripping over things. And you should hear them laugh.

Narrator: Poor Rip, I guess he could use forty years sleep now.

Chef: (entering eating an ice cream cone, and looking over and under and around things, saying...."Nope, not here, etc. and "I know it's around here somewhere." Continuing to look.)

Narrator: Boy that ice cream looks good. Where can I get some?

Chef: Down the road at Custard's Last Stand.

Narrator: What are you looking for?

Chef: A mine.

Narrator: You mean the Lost Dutchman Mine?

Chef: No the lost Italian Mine of course. I hear they have the greatest pizza.

Narrator: There was a guy over there who was talking about pizza earlier. I think his name was Wild Bill.....(hiccup) Wild Bill........(hiccup)....

Chef: Yeah, I know him, Wild Bill Hiccup - Hiccup...(leave the room)

Characters: 6 to 8 Indian Princesses

Props: Paper sacks

Setting: Skit opens with girls standing together in a backyard. Cardboard cutout trees and bushes could be used.

1st Cub: Gee, there's nothing to do.

2nd Cub: Yeah, I know.

3rd Cub: Hey, let's have a backyard picnic.

All: Yeah!

4th Cub: But it's going to rain.

1st Cub: I don't think so. If it does, we can eat in the house.

2nd Cub: I'll bring the potato chips.

3rd Cub: I'll bring the hot dogs.

4th Cub: I'll bring the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: I'll bring the drinks.

6th Cub: And I'll bring something special!

(All walk offstage and come back carrying sacks)

2nd Cub: Here are the chips.

3rd Cub: Here are the hot dogs.

4th Cub: Here are the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: Here are the drinks.

6th Cub: (Drops his sack) Oh, no!

5th Cub: What's wrong?

6th Cub: I brought the ants!!

The scene is an art show where judges are inspecting several canvases are displayed. They comment on the brightness, color, technique, that is used on the different pictures. They select one for the prize and comment additionally on the genius, imagination, and the beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the winning picture is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, that got in by mistake. That's the canvas that I clean my brushes on.

Important Guy: "OK, Aug, I want you to sell these pencils."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "That's right, Aug. Now, when you see someone coming down the street, I want

you to tell them what you're selling."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "Yes, Aug. Be more enthusiastic about it!"

Aug, waving his hands in the air: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Important Guy: "Very good, Aug. Now, people will want to buy your pencils, and they'll ask how much they are. They come in $2, $5, and $10 packs. Got that?"

Aug: "Pen-solls?"

Important Guy: "No: Two, Five, Ten."

Aug: "Two .. Five ... Ten!!!"

Important Guy: "I think you've got that. Now Aug, one more thing. Someone might ask why they should buy your pencils. If they ask that, Aug, I want you to tell them this. 'If you don't, somebody else will'".

Aug: "If you don't ... somebody else will!"

Important Guy: "Very good. Now, get out there and sell pencils!"

The important guy wanders offstage, and Aug wanders to the other side of the stage. A man on the street approaches Aug. Aug runs to him waving his hands.

Aug, in his face: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Man on street: "Hey, you're a real jerk! How many people have you done this to?"

Aug: "Two, Five, Ten!"

Man on steed: "You're really asking for a punch in the mouth, buddy."

Aug: "If you don't .. somebody else will!"

Man on street punches Aug, who falls flat, that's the end of the skit.

Cast: Doctor, three Dads

Setting: Hospital

Doctor: Mr. Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins!

Thompson: What a coincidence -- I come from Two Mountains!

Later --

Doctor: Mr. Smith, you now have triplets!

Smith: That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers!

Third father faints; doctor revives him.

Doctor: Mr. Smart -- what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet!

Smart: I come from Thousand Islands!

Two Indian Princesses lay down on sleeping bags on the stage. Two other princesses, pretending to be bikers "ride" over to one of the girls who is on top of the bag and proceed to beat her up. They do anything they want to make it look like they have hurt him. They see him moving and "ride" off.

The girls who just got beat up turns to his buddy and says, "Two bikers just came through the woods and beat me up." Her buddy turns to her and says, "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."

This happens two more times, with the bikers beating up the girl, but on the third time, something different happens. The girl who gets beat up turns to her buddy and tells her what happened again. This time her friend says, "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."

Now the bikers come back and go up to the same sleeping bag again, and one turns to the other and says, "This girl's had enough, let's get the other one."

Akela: "Now, (girls name), you know you should always do Good Turns."

1st Girl: I tried, honest!

Akela: OK

Each Girl enters and says similar things to Akela

Last Girl: (carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn! (flips pancake over and catches it in pan). But you should see the mess in the kitchen! (other Girls look ashamed)

The players in the orchestra each hold a balloon. They blow up their balloons in unison, then let out the air in a squeak at a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue Danube" or "Jingle Bells". To end the skit all fill their balloons with air and let go at the directors signal.

This is great fun in warm weather at a campfire, and it takes a little practice for the perpetrators. There is plenty of room for variation, depending on what the Scouts can imagine and how the volunteers react at the time. As usual, the Scapegoat gets wet.

You will need an Announcer and a Pitcher, but the Batters will be volunteers. The first Volunteer should be told what is happening ahead of time, so that his performance shows others how it's done. Set up a sheet a backdrop. Two Scouts hide behind it, one with a flashlight and the other with a bucket of water (but be sure that the audience does not see the bucket). The flashlight is held against the sheet to simulate the ball. The movement of the light is the key to the whole skit.

A baseball bat or a thick stick is needed for the batter, and a baseball glove for the Pitcher. Use a roll of canvas and a stick (or something similar) to simulate the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's glove (done by a Scout behind the sheet). If it is dark, have two strong flashlights shining on the Pitcher and Batter.

The Announcer comes on stage and tells the audience that there will be a baseball pitching demonstration. He introduces the Pitcher as the greatest pitcher of all time, who will show us his famous specialty pitches. After a buildup about how great the Pitcher is, the Announcer positions the Pitcher at one end of the sheet.

The Announcer asks for members of the audience to volunteer to try to hit this famous pitcher's best pitches. The first volunteer is given the bat and placed at the other end of the sheet. The Announcer explains that the Pitcher will throw one pitch, and the Batter must do his best to hit the ball.

The Pitcher winds up and pretends to throw, as the Announcer narrates ("He's set. He winds up. There's the pitch!" The Scout behind the screen moves his light rapidly down the sheet. The Announcer yells, "Fast ball!" The Batter swings hard. We hear the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. The Announcer says, "A strike! You're Out!" The Batter returns to his seat.

Another Batter is recruited. This time the Announcer calls out a curve ball, which curves wildly across the sheet. The Batter is again called out. The process continues with a knuckleball and a screwball.

Finally, the Announcer introduces the famous Pitcher's dreaded Secret Pitch. He asks for a special volunteer, of especially outstanding baseball ability and unusual courage, to try to hit this pitch. A Scapegoat is volunteered by the Announcer and encouraged to come up.

The Batter is carefully placed, and the ball is pitched. As it comes to the Batter, the Announcer cries, "Watch out! It's a spitball!"

His warning comes too late, as water cascades over the sheet onto the Batter.

Cast: Bear, two hunters

Setting: The woods

#1: (Whispering) Ah! There's a bear! I can shoot it and I'll have my take for the day! (Bang! And the bear falls down.) Well, I'll go get some rope to drag it.

#2: No! It's mine!

#1: Hey! I shot that bear myself. It's clearly mine.

#2: Look. You couldn't have shot that bear if I didn't drive us here.

#1: Well, I've got news for you. I just killed that bear. It's mine.

#2: And another thing, ...

The two continue arguing when all of a sudden, the bear rises, growls, and frightens the two hunters away.

1st Scout "OOOOOUCH, OOOOOOH, OOOOOUCH"

2nd Scout "What's the matter with you?"

1st Scout "A bee's stung my thumb!"

2nd Scout "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st Scout "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

Cast: Actor(s), Director, Cameraman, Others in a studio

Setting: Studio

Director: Okay, People! Let's get going!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No interruptions! Action!

Actor, speaking in a dull voice, does a commercial for Scout Beer, talking about its great taste, made from dishwater and leftover porridge, and lots of the special ingredient, "Hop to it," which the Scout leader often said, from Scout camp when ...

Director: Cut! That sounded like you don't like the stuff! Sound sincere!

Okay! Let's try it again!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No buts! Action!

Actor begins again, appropriately sincere, and there are the usual interruptions by the director, saying it's too fast, too slow, whispers into the actor's ear(who then checks his zipper) until finally, everything goes smoothly. All the while, the Cameraman keeps on interrupting the Director at the same time.

Director: Cut! And Print! That was fantastic! Let's get out of here!

Cameraman: But Sir! We don't have any film!

Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)

Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)

Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?

Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.

Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)

Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?

Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?

Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.

Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)

Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.

Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?

Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year (Finally arriving at the bell) All right, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that ?

Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground)

Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground)

(Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)

Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)

Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !

(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up')

(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)

Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.

Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)

(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday !

(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)

Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.

(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig and jog around the performing area.)

Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?

Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him !

First scout walks to center of stage, stands to attention, salutes and says, "BE PREPARED." This is repeated by three other scouts. When they are all standing side by side, a loud motor horn or explosion is let off behind the audience.

The scouts then all say, 'WE TOLD YOU TO BE PREPARED'

The key performer is the Catcher, who must wave around a can of water without spilling. He simulates the spit hitting the can by tapping on the can with his finger. He will need to practice so that he does not spill, does not show the audience that there is water in the can, and can be heard but not seen when he taps the can.

The catcher sits quietly in the audience. The can of water is on the stage, but not obvious.

A Scout loudly proclaims himself as The Best Spitter In The World. He boasts about his spitting ability, saying that he can spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, who have been planted at the back of the audience, challenge him to prove it, saying that they do not believe him. The audience takes up the cry.

The Spitter agrees and asks for someone from the audience to catch for him, just to prove his ability. The Catcher volunteers, acting as if he expects to be the scapegoat.

The Spitter explains that he will stand about 20 feet apart. He will spit, and the Catcher will catch the spit, just to prove the distance and accuracy. The Catcher reacts with horror, "I'm not going to touch your spit!" The Spitter is understanding, notices the can, and offers it as something to catch with. The Catcher agrees with obvious relief.

They set up a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up and catches with a solid thump.

The Spitter takes a bow, but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, do something harder. They back off and repeat the performance from a greater distance. Again, the audience yells at him.

After several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the world! The audience reaction is predictable. They set up; the Spitter spits; the Catcher ducks, waits, moves the pan around, and catches it.

Now the planted Scouts yell that the Spitter is a fake! They say that he couldn't really spit all around the world. The Spitter says, "Oh, yeah? Show them."

The Catcher turns and throws the water into the crowd.

Cast: 2 Scouts

There are two scouts, they each say, "I'm the better thief."

"No I'm the better thief."

Then one says, "Wait, lets have a contest, we will walk past each other three times and who ever steals the best thing wins."

The scouts then walk past each other twice pulling out objects such as knife, watch, glasses, etc.

Finally on the third pass, the first scout says, "I've got your wallet, ha, beat that!"

The second Scout looks around nervously then says, "You've got my wallet, well in that case you would win, but ... I've got you're underwear!" And waves a pair of shorts in the air.

(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.)

Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.

Customer : (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.

Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?

(Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.)

Customer : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.

Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are, it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and again it falls down.)

Customer : I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.

Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little adjustment. Let me get some help.

(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)

Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem ?

Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !

Two to four hunters talking together each says that he is packing a heavier and more powerful gun to shoot with. The first starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever. Two others come over who have overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the hunters going after wolves or moose. One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going after mosquitoes!!"

Cast: Guy, 4 People on lunch break

Setting: Park Bench

Guy is sitting on park bench.

Guy: I'm waiting for my girlfriend. I hope she comes soon.

(Luncher #1 sits on bench and moves him over. #2 sits on end and they move over, further pushing guy. #3 comes, and #4 comes, each in turn pushing the guy a little until he falls off. Really annoyed, he starts to scratch himself a little, then a little more then all over. Lunchers look at each other, start scratching a little bit then hurriedly leave.)

Guy: (Sitting on bench again) Works all the time!

Cast: 1 Person, log (or imaginary mower), "Volunteer," Victim

Person: (Groans and grunts as he's bent over carrying "heavy" mower.) Uhh. (Lets it down.) These old models, I tell you. They are so heavy, and they don't work well. Maybe I should buy a new mower this week. Well, let's get going. (Pulls rip cord to start, but it won't start. Makes appropriate sputtering noises. Tries again and again. Maybe get a "volunteer" to help. Again, no success. Get your victim to try, and on first try, it sputters to great life!) I guess it just needed a bigger jerk!

Cast: Box or suitable covering, Person in Box, Announcer, Victim, regular and serving spoons, stick and log, paper and book, rubber chicken, small cue card

Setting: Circus, Boardwalk, Technology Show

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! To demonstrate my enlarging machine, I will need a volunteer! (Get your victim.) I need you to help me while I explain what is going on. Now, look at what this machine can do! Please, will you put this spoon into the machine? (He does, and out comes the serving spoon, noises.) Isn't that amazing, ladies and gentlemen! Now watch. (Victim puts in stick, and log comes out.) My goodness, something to heat your home with! This is amazing! And please put in this piece of paper. (Book comes out.) Even I am amazed! (Finally, chicken is put in, and say you expect a turkey to come out. But cue card comes out.) This is amazing! The machine says that the biggest turkey of them all is right here!

An alternate ending is to complain about how slowly the machine is working, and it needs to be washed. The operator throws a small cup of water on the side, and a moment later a large bucket of water hits him.

There are several Black Bart skits, all revolving around the basic plot of the hero chasing Black Bart. The hero and BB come face to face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the anticlimactic line of: "You get the ping pong ball and I'll get the paddles and I'll meet you in five minutes." Or "Oh, all right, Black Bart, you use that one and I'll use the one upstairs." Use the latter one when BB is trapped in some room.

This takes about six guys, who form a circle around an invisible blanket, with a small invisible guy (Bruce) who sits in the middle of the invisible blanket and gets tossed.

"We're an Olympic blanket tossing team, and Bruce in the middle here is our star blanket bouncer. We'll toss Bruce a bit just to warm up. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!"

On three each time, the team lets the pretend blanket go slack, then pull it taught. They watch the invisible Bruce go up in the air, then come down, and the gently catch him again in the blanket. Each time they toss him higher. The team has to be in sync, and they have to watch about the same spot -- the easiest way to do this is to have everyone just imitate the leader, who is the speaker.

"OK, we're all limbered up now?" The team murmurs in agreement. "Then let's toss Bruce a bit higher. One, two, three!"

Bruce comes up, and the team adjusts their position a bit to catch him as he comes down.

"One, two, three!" This wait about ten seconds, and move quite a bit to get under him. Move this way and that before finally catching him.

"One, two, three!" twenty seconds this time, almost lose track of him, adjust the position here, there, and here again.

"What? What's that you say, Bruce?" pause "Audience, you are in luck! Bruce wants to go for the world record blanket toss! Ready team? One! Two! Thu-reee!!!" A mighty toss! The team shifts positions, like trying to catch a high fly ball. "There he goes! He's past the trees! He's really up there!" pause, looking hard into the sky "Do you see him? I've lost him. Where'd he go?" another pause "Oh well." The team leaves the stage, and the program continues.

After another skit and song, and preferably in the middle of awards or announcements of some sort, "Bruce! Quick team!" The blanket tossing team runs back on stage, positions themselves this way and that, and catches Bruce. "Let's have a big hand for Bruce! Yay!!!"

Recruit three or four volunteers and blindfold each one. Have the volunteers stand in front of the audience and instruct them to take off anything they have on. The smart ones will remove their blindfold, but those caught up in the joke will continue to remove items. Continue with those remaining one item at a time, until it borders on indecency. Then remove the blindfold and let them in on the joke.

A leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire. The leader decides to use members of the audience to represent different pieces of wood. The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the volunteers are bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in increasing larger sizes. The leader then says that the fire is ready to light, strikes a match, whereupon, several accomplices yell out that its ON FIRE and dash several buckets of water on the fire.

Cast: Border Guard, Supervisor, Several Crossers, 2 Brooms

Guard: Hi, Boss! I'm new here! What do I do?

Supervisor: Well, you have to make sure that people don't try to cross the border without stopping first. You can shoot at them if you have to.

Guard: With what?

Supervisor: Well, we're out of guns, so here's a broom. People won't know the difference if you just go Bang! Bang! Bang!

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now whenever it doesn't work, here's a pretend bayonet. If they don't fall from the fake gun, you can always try stabbing them.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now go to work and don't stop until your shift is finished.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. It doesn't work either.) Boss! Boss! What do I do?

Before boss answers, crosser points a broom at the guard and goes Bang! Bang! Bang! and the guard falls.

Cast: Customer, Shopkeeper

Setting: Brain Shop

Customer: Hi! I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new personality.

Shopkeeper: (In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this brain from Billy Crystal for $5000. Here. Try it. ("Unscrews" head and plops in pretend brain.) How do you feel?

Customer: (In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marrrvelous. But I don't think it's me. Can I try another?

Shopkeeper: Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from Captain Kirk. Only $5000.

Customer: (In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from Ronald Reagan. It only costs $5000. How do you feel?

Customer: (In Ronald Reagan style voice) Wellll ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this one's still a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back. (Customer comments on the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we are. The best in the house, not famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.)

Customer: (Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the sign and calling out "PACK!" or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this is good. But I recognize it. No, wait ... it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those three famous people only cost $5000 apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person. Why does it cost $15000?

Shopkeeper: Well, it's never been used!

A group Scout goes to a new Scientific Laboratory where they have developed a new process for brain transplants. The Scouts asks to see the selection of brains. The doctor shows them a selection. (the brains may be in cans, where they look in it). The first one is marked $500.00. The scouts ask about it and are told it is the brain from a peddler. The next $1,000.00,-a policeman, 1,500.00 - a teacher, etc up to $5,000.00 for the brain of the greatest physicist in the world. The Scouts then see a container marked, $20,000.00 and ask about it. The doctor explains "It is the brain from ____________ (DE Camp Director or Leader) and has never been used!

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.

Reply: "I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them.

"I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. Final entry, without a case: "I lost my case"

This skit has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older sections (Scouts and higher) and leaders, particularly in an all-sections campfire. It is best presented near the end of the campfire, when things are winding down (and the children have settled down).

People required for the Skit: 6

Cast:

Old Man with a Staff

Spirit of the Beaver

Spirit of the Wolf Cub

Spirit of the Scout

Spirit of adventure

Spirit of the Rover

(fewer people may be used by doubling up on roles)

Skit Setup: Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each role. (Small Flashlight recommended!)

The Old Man is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly with his staff. He is slightly hunched over with age and leans on the staff heavily.

The Scouting Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just far enough back not to be seen. (They should speak loud and clearly).

NOTE: When the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be 2-3 seconds of silence before the Spirits speak.

(The memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group, so they have relevance to the audience and can feel the full impact of the skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for ideas.)

OLD MAN (Shuffling slowly around the campfire). "My life has been long, too long, and my Scouting years are behind me. My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and Alone." (Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS: "SHARING"

SPIRIT OF THE BEAVER: "I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught you Sharing and Caring for the World."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire). <Beaver Memory> e.g. "Beavers. I remember Beavers. Riverbanks and the Beaver Pond, making crafts to take home to Mom..." <etc.> (The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "A-Ke-Lah"

SPIRIT OF THE WOLF CUB: "I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your best, I led your Pack through the forest and you lived by My Law."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the campfire). <Cub Memory> e.g. "Cubs. I remember Cubs. Hot Dog roasts in the bush, my first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar races..." <etc>. (The Old Man stops again and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "On My Honor"

SPIRIT OF THE SCOUT: "I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to camp without a trace, and together we explored the land."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the circle). <Scout Memory> e.g. "Scouts. I remember Scouts. Long hikes and long camps, breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And then there was Jamboree..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire.)

ALL SPIRITS: "Challenge"

SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE: "I am the Spirit of adVenture. I taught you leadership and set you free, to test your limits to the skies."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the fire). <Venturer Memory> e.g. "Oh, yes, Venturers. Attending Jamboree as a Hikemaster, leading people from around the world into the Rockies. Getting my drivers license and trying to date Rangers..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire)

ALL SPIRITS: "Service"

SPIRIT OF THE ROVER: "I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and self-destiny. We chose to give back the love we were given through Service."

OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling). <Rover Memory> e.g. "Rovers. I could never forget Rovers. Helping out at Dream-On, putting on District campfires. And then there were the Moots and Road trips. And camps, camps, camps." (Slows down and begins to sink to the ground. He is dying.)

ALL SPIRITS (Walk straight into the campfire circle from where they stand, if possible. They should all arrive at the Old Man's body at the same time. Wait a moment or two.)

"We are the brotherhood of Scouting". <Each section says its name in order - BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS, VENTURERS, ROVERS.> "If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."

-- Thanks to Gary Nelson

Cast: Kid, Dog, Basketball Player, Car, Jogger and Old Man

Setting: City Street

Kid: Blowing bubbles is just great. Watch. (Blows imaginary bubble; it pops and lands somewhere on the ground.) Hmm. Where did it go? I should look for it. (Goes around and exits, still looking for it.)

Enter dog, who stops, sniffs at gum, pees on it, and exits. Basketball player is dribbling ball when it gets stuck on the gum -- he tries to loosen it and finally does. Car drives right over it. Jogger goes by, his foot gets stuck on it; old man comes by and his cane gets stuck on it. Finally, Kid comes back.

Kid: Ahh! There's my piece of gum! (Picks it up, pops it in his mouth and continues chewing.)

Cast: Announcer, Boy

Setting: Stage

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the world famous WHEEL OF FISH! (Girl comes crawling onto stage.) I say, young man, what are you doing down there?

Girl: (Looking up) I'm looking for my bubble gum!

Announcer: Well, where did you lose it?

Girl: Backstage!

Announcer: Then why look here?

Girl: The lighting is better here!

These are a variation of the popular elephant jokes. They can be set up with two boys for each "joke".

Cub 1: How can you tell if a buffalo is under your bedroll?

Cub 2: The ceiling of your tent is very close.

Cub 3: Did you know buffaloes are originally from Italy?

Cub 4: You mean like in the song " Oh where is the home for the buffaloes -- Rome!

Cub 5: What do you find between the hooves of buffaloes?

Cub 6: Slow buffalo hunters.

Cub 7: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo?

Cub 8: You either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Cub 9: How can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse?

Cub 10: Try to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse.

Cub 11: How can you tell a buffalo has been in the refrigerator?

Cub 12: His hoof prints are in the jello.

Cub 13: How can you tell when there are two buffaloes in your refrigerator?

Cub 14: You can't shut the door.

Cast: Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"

Setting: Bus

Bus driver drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off the bus, holding their noses, telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the bus, until finally only Stinky and the Driver are left on the bus.

Driver: (Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it? (Smells something awful.) Hmm. Something smells -- it must be you.

Did you wash this morning?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Deodorant?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Clean shirt?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Clean underwear?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Change your socks?

Stinky: Sure! Here are the old ones!

The first Scout comes out walking around, he suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. Two other scouts come in talking about just completing their first aid merit badge and find the scout on the ground. They rush to his aid and begin C.P.R.. Adjust head, listen, feel for pulse and then begin (fake) compressions. The other scout counts. After about 3 sets, the other scout yells "switch". Suddenly the scout on the ground gets up, one of the two scouts lies down, and they begin again to administer C.P.R.

A Scout dressed in a turban enters the campfire circle. He places a blanket on the ground, kneels and begins to pry. He prays by bowing down and with his arms out-stretched, he chant "Oh Allah, bring me a camel." Repeat a number of times, and then he looks under the blanket. He shakes his head sadly and asks for a volunteer to help him. The two kneel and pray to Allah for a camel. Again the first scout looks under the blanket and finds nothing. He continues to recruit volunteers two or three at a time, each time praying for a camel. (if the volunteers are not really helping then egg them on.) When there is no more room on the blanket for volunteers the first scouts stand and says: "Allah hasn't sent me a camel, but he has sent me a lot of silly jackasses!"

Props: A large cooking pot and mugs for actors

1st Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp coffee is getting worse".

2nd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp tea is getting worse".

3rd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This camp hot chocolate is getting worse".

4th Scout- (Walks up to pot, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says) "I thought that would get them clean!"

Cast: 2 People, campfire blanket

Have one person lie down on his back and the other kneel directly over him. The top person wears the campfire blanket so as to hide his legs and expose the legs of the person lying down, to create the effect of it being one person sitting down.

Person: Hi there! Welcome to Don's House of Fine Exercises and Sports Medicine. Today I'm going to ask you about your regular stretching routine. Can you do this? (Lifts up a leg so that it's parallel with the chest.) Or this? (Lifts other leg.) And how about this? (Crosses the legs.) This is an unusual one. Can you do it? (Brings feet around the neck.) And let's not forget this one. Can you do it? (Stretches out the legs in spread eagle fashion in the air.) (Elicit a no answer from a volunteer.) Well, neither can I! (Stands up.)

Ask for two volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.

A customer comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered cherries. Peanut brittle? Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um, well, not today. Licorice? Fresh out of licorice.

Well, what do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Cast: Old storekeeper, very young kid (4 years old)

Setting: A Candy Store

Kid: (Kid walks up to storekeeper and asks) I want five of those penny candies way up at the top.

Storekeeper: You mean those penny candies, way, way, waaaaaayy up top?

Kid: Yes, please.

Storekeeper: Sigh! (Kid takes innocent pleasure in watching the storekeeper go up.)

Storekeeper climbs up and get him five candies, and receives the five cents.

This scene repeats itself several times over 3 more days, with the storekeeper being more and more tired each time and becoming equally more frustrated until,

Storekeeper: Oh! I see that kid coming. I know what he's coming to get, so I'll climb up now to get the candies before he comes in and have it ready for him. (Kid walks in.) I bet I know what you want. I bet you want five of the penny candies from way up top, right?

Kid: Nope! Not today!

Storekeeper: Sigh! Now I have to climb back up to put them away. (He climbs up, puts them away, then comes down.) Now, sonny, what would you like today?

Kid: I would like three of those penny candies way up at the top!

The leader gives instructions for playing candy store. He asks that one person take a long string and hold on and then adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the leader explains that this is a candy store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.

A candy store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole, draping a blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one customers come in asking for different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a customer asks what he does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two suckers on a stick, pulling the blanket away at the same time.

Have the girls march in, single file, with one girl leading them like a drill sergeant. The sergeant tells them to stop and addresses them. He tells them he has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that they get a change of underwear. The girls cheer and he cuts them off. The bad news is that they have to change underwear with one another. The girls groan.

You will need: 5 princesses, props should include a lamppost, park bench, tree.

Scene: Park area, girls walk on one at a time. This is a pantomime skit and is great to use with younger princesses and shy girls.

One CUB walks on stage chewing imaginary gum (use exaggerated motions- chewing, blowing bubbles, pulling gum out of mouth, putting it back in), leans against lamppost for a bit, takes gum out of his mouth and sticks it to the lamppost. He then walks off stage. Second CUB comes on stage, leans against lamppost, feels gum stick, pulls the gum off and sticks gum to bench. Second CUB exits. Third CUB enters and sits on bench. Notice gum, pulls it off himself and throws it to the ground. Fourth CUB walks on stage, steps in gum, removes gum from shoe and sticks it to tree. Exits. Fifth CUB enters, leans against tree and finds gum. Removes gum from tree and sticks it on the lamppost. First CUB enters again. Walks up to lamppost, finds gum and sticks it back in his mouth. Walks off stage chewing gum.

Pick a "volunteer" to be the dead Chief Shortcake (adult leader) and have him lie down covering with a towel/sheet except for his head. Have each girl repeat a line on what to do with Chief Shortcake such as: burying the Chief with all his worldly possessions, should be burned in a great ceremonial fire, put in a cave and seal him up, and so on for as many as you need. The last Indian says that they are all wrong, "I bury Shortcake" and squirts whipped cream on Chief Shortcake's face.

Performers arrange themselves with their heads hanging upside down over the edge of a table with a sheet or other drape covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin. Place sunglasses just below the chin in front of the neck for "eyes." The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is the mouth - but upside down, so to smile you need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly speech or sings a harmonious song. Several "chin faces" in a row can form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation: Have the "chin face" be a chicken instead of a person.

Two Scouts meet, and the first scout begins to brag he can climb anything.

Scout 1: "Can you climb that tree?"

Scout 2 "Sure I've done it lots of times."

Scout 1 "Can you climb the steep hill over there?"

Scout 2 "No sweat, no problem for me."

Scout 1 "How about the Empire State Building?"

Scout 2 "Done it, Did it."

Scout 1 "How about Mount Everest?"

Scout 2 "Boy that was I cold day, I've done that too. I told you I am the world's greatest climber, I can climb anything!"

Scout 1 "I'll bet you ten bucks I can show you something that you can't climb."

Scout 2 "Your on!"

Scout 1 pulls out a flashlight and shine the beam up into the sky "all right climb that!"

Scout 2 "Are you crazy? No Way!"

Scout 1 "I knew you would back out, now pay up!"

Scout 2 "I won't pay because its not fair. I know you, I'd start climbing and I'd get half way and you'd turn the flashlight off!"

Props: A good compass and a map

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try that.

John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)

Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.

Other girls : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)

Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson. There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.

Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?

Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"

Cast: Monk, Abbot, narrator

Scene: Abbot's office

Narrator: This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two words every ten years. Our friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years of silence.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Bad food!

Narrator: Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He of course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Uncomfortable bed!

Narrator: Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty, long, devoted years.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: I quit!

Abbot: I'm not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've done is complain!

The scene takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of contagious and communicable diseases, Dr. Ringworm, M.D., L.S.D., V.I.P., L.C.B. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or books. In walks a fellow (a) with an itch which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to read but is disturbs periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next to A. B gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch. When it has been well established that they have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty soon all three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and shaking every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are bouncing around in their chairs. Then a girl dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives. If possible or desired have some jazz music playing in the background for the scouts with the diseases to keep the beat to.

Second person walks in with a suitcase. First person already on stage asks where he is going and the first person's reply is that he is going to court. A little while later he comes in with the case and also a ladder. This time he says that he taking his case to a higher court.

Guy brought in - "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up pebbles on the beach!" Two or more with similar stories. Last person comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl, saying, "Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an alluring manner.

The scene is set up so that Crazy Charlie is portrayed as being in a mental institution. It's dinner time and before he can ask for anyone to pass the meat, someone calls out 37 and the room bursts into laughter. Moments later 57 is called out and more laughter results. Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him what is going on. He is told that everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the jokes.

After a while Charlie decides to give it a trial and call 52, but no one laughs; there is complete silence. Charlie asks his friend what is wrong. He friend tells him not to worry that there isn't anything wrong, some people can tell jokes and some people can't.

Characters: Several Cubs around fake campfire pretending to cook hot dogs on sticks. Two Cubs dressed as mosquitoes--antennae, wings etc.

Setting: Girls around fire keep slapping as if they are being attacked by mosquitoes throughout the skit. As the scene opens, the two mosquitoes enter the stage and continue walking randomly around the girls as they deliver their lines.

Mosquito #1: Hey, I got a good one! Which sport do we mosquitoes like best?

Mosquito #2: Easy! Skin diving. Say, did you hear what the Cub Scout said to the mosquito.

Mosquito #1: No, what?

Mosquito #2: Don't bug me!

Mosquito #1: Are you related to any of the bugs around here?

Mosquito #2: Sure. My ant.

Mosquito #1: Did you hear what the mother grasshopper said to her children?

Mosquito #2: No -- tell me.

Mosquito #1: Hop to it!

Cub #1: These mosquitoes are awful! Lucky I brought the insect repellent. (Pretends to spray air.) (Mosquitoes exit quickly -- choking and gagging.)

Cub #2: (To cub #1) Say, what has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws.

Cub #1: I don't know.

Cub #2: Neither do I, but it's crawling up your neck.

(All girls run screaming from stage.)

Characters: TV reporter, 4 Cub athletes getting ready for the Cub Olympics.

Props: Frisbee for discuss, pile for javelin, bag of cookies, toothbrush and basin of water on stand, fake mike for reporter (can be dressed in suit jacket and have ID for his station on his lapel in large letters)

TV reporter: We're here today to interview the athletes at Pack _____ as they prepare for the challenge of this years Cub Olympics. As you can imagine, it takes months of training and hard work to get these athletes ready to compete. Let's see how they are preparing themselves for the big competition. (turns to Cub #1 with microphone) Tell me, how are you getting ready for your event in the Olympics?

Cub #1: I'm practicing my throw for the discus event. (demonstrates how to throw discus using Frisbee)

TV reporter: Great form! (turns to Cub #2) and you -- can you tell us how you are preparing to compete?

Cub #2: I'm polishing my javelin for the javelin throw (polishes pole with a rag.)

TV reporter: Good luck! (turns to Cub #3) What are you doing today?

Cub #3: I'm practicing for the standing broad jump. (does a couple of practice jumps)

TV reporter: Fine! (turns to Cub #4) And what are you doing to train for the Olympics?

Cub #4: I'm brushing my teeth! (uses basin of water and toothbrush --pretends to brush teeth)

TV reporter: Brushing your teeth! What Olympic event could you possibly be training for?

Cub #4: I'm training for the International Olympic Cookie - Eating event! (pulls out bag of cookies and stuffs some in his mouth.)

Characters: Den leader, 3 Cub Scouts

Props: A pile of socks on a table. Den leader sits behind table.

Den leader: Girls, I'm pleased to announce that our new Cub Scout socks have arrived! Please step up for your supply of clean socks.

Cub #1: I need four pair.

Den leader: What do you need 4 pair for?

Cub #1: I need them for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.

Den leader: O.K. Here are your socks. Next please.

Cub #2: I need seven pair.

Den leader: What do you need seven pair for?

Cub #2: For Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Den leader: O.K. here are your socks.

Cub #3: I need 12 pairs.

Den leader: Wow, you must really be a clean guy! So why do you need 12

pair?

Cub #3: Well, there's January, February, March, April...etc.

Cast: 4 Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or nightgown), full uniform

Setting: Store

#1: I'd like to buy the Cub Shirt.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have it!") (Comes back with a shirt.)

#2: I'd like to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with accessories.)

#3: I'd like to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with pants.)

#4: I'd like to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background -- "No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with shoes.)

Kid: (Comes running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to Cubs without my uniform?

Cast: Director, 2 Workers, Cameraman, Clapperman, Light Man, Soap

Setting: On the Setting of a Movie

Director: Okay, people! Remember what I said about the language! Action!

Clapperman: Scene 5, Take 1!

Worker 1: (Eating lunch with #2) You know, Gerry, the wife is always nagging me for some more money. And I just don't have it.

Gerry: I know what you mean. The (DARN) kids are always ...

Director: Cut! What did I say about the language? You know the rules ... soap in the mouth. (Pantomime director washing out Gerry's mouth with soap.) Okay, let's try that one again. And watch the language!

Continues the same way, but each time something happens where a different person says "Darn" -- clapperman gets fingers caught in clapper (don't do the whole scene over again, of course,) cameraman trips while filming, light person drops light, #1 says "the darn wife ..." Finally, the director is about to start the scene again when he looks at his watch.

Director: Oh darn. Look at the time ...

Cast & Crew: Cut! You know the rules ... (Pantomime washing out mouth with soap)

Paint faces on the knees of the performers. Use dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the legs as dolls with the arms bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real clothing. Cover the upper legs and body with a sheet. Direct a flashlight (spot) onto each knee.

Cast: 2 guys, 2 bikers

Setting: Campground

#1: Well, time to go to bed. AND I GET THE TENT! (Beats up little guy.)

#2: But... Oh well, it's no use. (He sets up his sleeping bag under the stars.)

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) Ha! Ha! Let's beat up this guy! (They beat up little guy.)

Next morning,

#2: Hey! Last night some bikers came here and beat me up!

#1: You're just jealous that I took the tent. Be a man.

The next night and morning, the same routine occurs, with the little guy complaining even more. Finally, the big guy lets the little guy have the tent, with much ado about him being a wimp. That night,

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) You know, I think we've beat up on the guy outside enough the past two nights. Let's beat up the guy inside the tent tonight!

Number of Participants: 2

Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Uh, (looking for a sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm !"

Characters: Six Cub Scouts in summer uniform or Cub Scout T-shirts.

Scene: A nature walk.

Props: Cub - fashioned bouquet, with strands of ivy.

Cub 1: Gee, Fellas. I don't think Mrs. Brown's having a very good time.

Cub 2: Well, you didn't help things much, giving her that garter snake.

Cub 3: I was just trying to help her collect stuff for our nature display at pack meeting.

Cub 4: Yeah...and you heard what she said! "Nothin' ever again, that moves by itself."

Cub 3: So...now I know better!

Cub 5: Don't worry about a thing, you guys. I'm gonna fix everything.

Cub 6: Yeah? How?

Cub 5: Well, you know how nutty women are about flowers? So, I picked her this neat bunch of flowers...(he holds up bouquet, with trailing strands of ivy)... See?

Cub 6: Oh no... (wails). We'll never get to go on another hike!

Cub 5: How come?

Cub 6: Cause...that's poison ivy!!

Cast: Weakling, three or four Thugs, Old Lady, Director, Cameraman

Setting: Street Corner Set in a Studio

Weakling: Hi there. I'm advertising the great effects this wonderful vegetable cocktail, V-8, has on your stamina. You, Sir. (To a tough looking thug.) Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug: Duh, no. Real men don't drink V-8.

Weakling: Sure they do. Watch! (He beats up thug.) See? I had my V-8 today!

You Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 2: (Has crowbar) No, I don't need it!

Weakling: Sure you do. (He beats up thug.) You can tell I do! And you Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 3: Ask me again and I'll beat you up.

Weakling: Heh, heh. Did you have your V-8 today? (Thug tries to beat him up, but weakling takes care of him no problem.) So you see, having your V-8 is great for you.

An old lady walks in; weakling looks puzzled, whispers to director saying he hadn't heard about an old lady in the script; director says to go on and ask her anyway.

Weakling: Excuse me, Ma'am. Did you have your V-8 today?

Old lady: As a matter of fact, young man, I did -- and I'll prove it! (She beats him up.)

Characters: two customers, waiter. Let actors develop actions and dialogue from the situation

Props: table with tablecloth, candles, menus, etc. Most important - a storybook

Two customers enter a fancy seafood restaurant, study the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders

One customer orders shrimp, the second says, "I'd like a lobster tail, please."

Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but face audience and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster...."

The secret to success with this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You can have one doctor and different patients, but it may add greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and patient fly in and out for each quickie.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a set of drapes.

Doc: Pull yourself together!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Am I going to die?

Doc: That's the last thing you'll do.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.

Doc: Next!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!

Doc: I'll deal with you later.

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me?

Doc: Have you had this before?

Pat: Yes.

Doc: Well, you've got it again!

Doc: You'll live to be 80.

Pat: I am 80.

Doc: See!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I've got insomnia.

Doc: Don't lose any sleep over it!

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis and, two weeks later, my friend died of heart failure.

Doc: Don't worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll die from appendicitis!

First patient comes in hiccuping and asks to see the doctor. The second patient comes in cross-eyed, with a silly look on his face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery. They are all asked to sit down. The first person is asked to go in. There is a real commotion and the patient comes out fine. The same thing happens to the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it is time to go home. The doctor emerges with the symptoms of all his patients and goes offstage.

A person comes to a psychologist and says that he needs help, he thinks that he is a dog, holding up his hands like a dog begging. Through out the skit the person acting like a dog, does dog-like things, like scratching behind his ear, whining, etc. Doctor asks how long he has had this problem. Ever since he was a puppy is the reply. The doctor asks if he will lie on the couch but the person says that he can't since he can't get on the furniture. Doctor's advice is to make sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing any cars.

Cast: Two friends, doggie doo

Setting: Street

Two friends are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something, talking about a movie or the latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden --

John: Hey Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like doggie doo!

Frank: (Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo!

John: Touch it to see if it feels like doggie doo!

Frank: (Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo!

John: Taste it to see if it tastes like doggie doo!

Frank: (Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo!

John: Well! It's a good thing we checked and didn't walk in it!

Cast: Director, Others in a Studio (Clapper Board, Lighting Men), Mother, Son, Doctor, Undertaker, brooms for the actors

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take one!

The actors play the scene without the least sign of emotion as lighting people follow and cameraman films. Mother is flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.

Son: Mom, I don't feel too well. (He collapses)

Mom: (Goes over, looks at son.) Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to the phone, dials making click, click, click sounds.) Doctor, come quick. My son's collapsed.

Doctor: (Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's dead. I'd better call the undertaker. (Goes to phone, dials making dialing sounds like Mom did.)

Undertaker, you'd better come. I have a dead body here.

Undertaker: (Enters and begins to measure the body.)

Director: (Jumps up.) Cut! Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion AT

ALL! Let's do it again. This time, give me more emotion!

Cast: (Exiting) Right. More emotion.

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take Two!

The actors redo the scene, using exactly the same words, but with great hammy histrionics. Mom weeps uncontrollably throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same point as in Take One, the Director yells, "Cut! Cut!"

Director: That was better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it down. Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene on, Take three!

The actors redo the scene in slow motion -- talking slowly, mowing slowly. For example, when the telephone is dialed it goes click ... click ... click ... and after the doctor check's the son's pulse, the son's hand falls slowly back to the floor, etc. The Director yells "Cut!" in the usual place.

Director: That was far too slow! Let's speed it up!

This time the actors do the scene so quickly that the son throws himself to the ground, the doctor is there before Mom can hang up, and so on.

Director: (At the same place) Cut! That was absolutely terrible! Actors? Do you call yourselves actors!!??

Cast: Actors? Who said anything about actors? We're the cleaners! (All pickup brooms and exit.)

The Easter Bunny is out delivering his eggs and the police arrest him for breaking and entering a house. The police don't believe that he is the Easter Bunny, but finally decide to believe him and let him go. He decides to finish delivering and tries to enter another house where an old lady or man accuses him of stealing. The Bunny says, "Oh no, not again!" and is run off the stage by the old lady swinging a stick or umbrella.

The club leader announces during the singing that he has noticed an echo in the room and he is going to try it out (also could be on a hike overlooking a canyon). The following is a dialogue between the leader and the echo - a person out of the room or out of sight.

Leader: Hello

Echo: Hello

Leader: Cheese

Echo: Cheese

Leader: Bologna

Echo: (silence)

Leader: (to group) It must not be working now. I'll try again. (to echo) This leader is great.

Echo: Bologna

A Scout enters the campfire area, walks around and collapses to the ground. He lays there seriously ill and dying. Soon another scout enters and finds the ill scout. He screams out: "There is someone lying here!" then the echo effect from outside of the campfire area. Soon the scout calls out, "I think he is ill!", echo effect. He continues, "I think he is very ill!" echo again. The Scout beginning to panic screams out "He is dying" with the echoes responding. Finally the scout calls out "He is Dead!". But this time the echoes respond in unison, "Its about time!"

Cast: Guide, Tourists, Echo hidden in the bushes

Setting: A Tour of the Countryside

You might want to lengthen it a bit at first, to tell a more complete story, but for the sake of brevity, you might not.

Guide: (To tourist group) And this over here is the famous site where John Smith first discovered gold. Now if you'll follow me, we'll be going to Echo Point next. (Walks around a bit with group.) Here it is. What makes Echo Point so special is that whenever you call out the name of a food, it will echo three times. Listen. Yogurt! (Echo: "Yogurt! Yogurt! Yogurt!") See? Now, would anybody else like to try?

Tourist #1: I would. Banana! (Echo: "Banana! Banana! Banana!")

Tourist #2: Salad! (Echo: "Salad! Salad! Salad!") Hey! Neato!

Tourist #3: I want to try. Baloney! (Echo: "Baloney! Baloney!" -- ONLY TWICE!)

Guide: (After a pause,) That's strange -- it's never repeated a food only twice. Maybe we should wait a moment more. (Pause -- nothing happens.) I'm so embarrassed. Well, I guess we should go back to the base, where the food is so good!

Echo: Baloney!

A girl enters chewing gum, acting like a business man, with a briefcase etc. Walks up and enters a elevator, sticks gum on the wall. A kid listening to rock & roll on his portable stereo, dances into the elevator, leans on wall, hands sticks to gum. Tries hard to pull hand off the wall. The kid looks at the gum, stretches it, picks his nose, sneezes, etc.; all getting on the gum. Throws the gum at the back of the elevator where it sticks. Dumb, spacey, jock stereotype enter the elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to the following places: first head and elevator, then head and hand, both hands, foot and both hands, both feet and hands, hands, knees, and hand to face. He finally gets free and sticks gum back on side wall. Businessman enters the elevator after the Jock leaves, see gum and decides to chew it again, then leaves.

The scene opens with an elevator operator intoning "Ground Floor". A passenger gets on and begins to jiggle slightly. The elevator operator intones each floor with a description of what's on that floor. A passenger gets on at each floor and begins to jiggle as well. As the elevator gets higher the passengers begin to jiggle more. When the top floor is reached the passengers begin to jiggle like mad, the operator intones bathrooms and they all rush quickly off. The operator suddenly looks funny, begins to jiggle, shouts "ME TOO!" and runs off the stage.

The scene is an emergency room at a hospital. The Doctor is totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in mirror etc. A guy runs in, a hiker with a branch stuck in his stomach. He is screaming in agony. the Doctor insists that he must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood. The doctor continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there etc. A phone rings and the Doctor is invited out to lunch. The Doctor runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the floor. A stupid looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the branch out. The patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.

Preparation: Decide which objects will be enlarged, and collect both large and small versions. For example:

A dime becomes a quarter.

A string becomes a coil of rope.

A newspaper page becomes the Sunday paper.

Set up a sheet as a backdrop, and hide a Scout behind it with the large objects and a bucket of water. The Professor will be in front of the sheet with the small objects. If it is dark, you will need a spotlight on the action.

The Professor walks out and announces that he has developed a wonderful Enlarging Machine that will make anything - anything - bigger. As the Scout behind the machine makes 'machine' noises, he explains that the machine is operated simply by tossing an object over the sheet. The machine will then return the object in a much larger form.

The Professor will demonstrate his fantastic invention, but he needs volunteers to help. One by one, the volunteers come forward. The Professor hands them an object which they throw over the sheet. The machine then makes noises, and the larger object is tossed back. Each time, the Professor exclaims about the value and capability of the machine.

The last volunteer is the Scapegoat, who is volunteered by the Professor and the crowd. The Professor takes the Scapegoat by the arm and leads him toward the audience and away from the sheet. In tones of great secrecy, the Professor encourages him to have some fun with the machine and spit over the sheet. They return to the sheet, and the Scapegoat spits. He is instantly drenched by a bucket of water.

The Professor can talk out loud about an object, but actually hand the Scapegoat a cup of water. By his actions, he implies that he and the Scapegoat are going to surprise the Scout behind the machine. This can have several outcomes; the Scout can be surprised; the Scapegoat can get wet anyway; or the Professor can get wet, to his surprise.

Scene: Group of Cub Scouts around a table.

Props: Ping pong ball, sponge, white golf tees, pan with ice cream bars in the bottom.

Cub 1: Isn't it great our leader is letting us make a pie for our den meeting treat?

Cub 2: Sure is. I don't know what kind of pie it is, but here are the directions.

Cub 3: Let's see, first you put in these walrus eyes.

Cub 4: Walrus eyes? Are you sure?

Cub 3: Says so right here. (Puts ping pong balls in pan.)

Cub 5: OK, next put in a pound of blubber.

Cub 4: A pound of blubber? Are you sure?

Cub 5: That's what it says in the recipe. (Puts in white sponges.)

Cub 6: The next thing to add are two dozen polar bear teeth.

Cub 4: I don't believe that. Why would you put teeth in a pie?

Cub 3: Hey, you have to have teeth to eat a pie!

Cub 4: Oh yeah, go ahead.

Cub 6: Here go the teeth. (Puts in golf tees.)

Cub 1: Now we let it freeze for one hour. (Put lid on pan.)

Cub 2: (Hold up sign that says "one hour later".)

Cub 1: Let's see what we've got. (Uncovers pot.)

All: (Look into pan and exclaim.) Eskimo pies!!!! (Pull out ice cream bars, open and eat.)

"I'm a reporter. I have been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop. Never. I'm a failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ..."

"Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping?"

"I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop."

"Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemorrhoids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you all doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Oh, I'm a grade school teacher. I just realized that I can't stand whiney little kids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Well I'm a florist, and I've got hay fever." sneeze! "I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "I'm a dentist, hic and I've had the hiccups for the last hic five years. Would you like a tooth removed hic?" He holds one of those pointy dentist things, and each time he hics his hands jerk around "No!" "Then I think I'll hic join you."

"One! Two! Three!!!" They all jump, except for the reporter.

"Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop!" He runs offstage, scribbling furiously on his notepad.

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

You need two players and a behind-scenes person to move the fire (an artificial campfire with invisible strings attached).

The players sit by the fire, reading, doing a puzzle, etc. The fire moves slightly. They don't notice. It moves again; they don't notice. This continues until, finally, the fire is pulled off stage. At that point, one of the players looks at the other and says, "Looks like the fire's gone out again!"

-- Thanks to Scouting (UK) magazine

When we entered the campfire theater the first four scouts walked in with large cans filled only with torn up news paper. The Staff immediately noticed and gave us their attention. One or two came over to see what was up. We let them examine the cans and they found only paper. As everyone was seated, the leaders delivered additional cans, these had water balloons covered with paper. I even threw some paper in the air as we delivered the cans. During the other skits, I sat down with staff carrying a dummy can and left it there. Now for the skit:

Have four volunteers stand across from each other with arms on shoulders making a square. The Next four volunteers bend over with their rears pushed out and their arms around the waist of the four who are standing. The Next four get behind the knees of the four bent over, on all fours. The announcer continues to talk about fire lays and the importance of building a great fire lay. Ham this up and joke about the funny logs the scouts have brought for the fire lay. With everything in place, the announcer reminds all of fire safety and that you must always put out the fire when you are finished. ( at this point the senior staff member was heard assuring the others, no fear, its only paper)The Staff was then properly "put out"! It was a great sales job, and worked so well.

-- Thanks to Merl Whitebook, Troop 1, Tulsa, Okla.

A firing squad lines up with a prisoner. The leader of the firing squad calls out "Ready ... Aim ..." The prisoner shouts, "Tornado!" The soldiers all run for cover and the prisoner escapes. A Second prisoner is brought out, the leader calls out "Ready ... Aim ..>" and the prisoner shouts, "Landslide!", the firing squad runs for cover and the prisoner escapes again. Repeat this for other natural disasters. The last prisoner is brought out and having seen the other prisoners escape decides to do the same thing except he yells "Fire" and the firing squad does.

Cast: Rifle squad, Commander, Person to be executed

Setting: Jail

Person about to executed is standing at pole, doing a crossword puzzle.

Commander: Ready, aim ... What are you doing?

Person: The crossword puzzle from today's New York Times. A real tough one.

Commander: Did you know I'm about to have you executed?

Person: Sure. Here ... a four letter word meaning burning ... Hmm ... Do you have any idea?

Commander: Four letters -- burning -- (takes puzzle, walks in front of pole, person sneaks away) -- F-I-R-E ! FIRE! It fits!

Firing squad shoots and he buckles over with one of those knowing looks on his face.

Two people, one a fisherman and the other a fish market manager come on stage and hold a long cord between them. The fish market man attempts to call the fisherman on the telephone to see if he has any fish today, the fisherman acts as if he can't hear him. Volunteers are brought out of the audience and hold the cord between the fish market man and the fisherman one or two at a time with the market man attempting to call each time. When several people are holding the line, the market man is able to communicate with the fisherman. The fisherman says that he doesn't have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers hanging on a line showing the line the volunteers are holding up.

Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passerby: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"

Passerby: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."

Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."

Passerby: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)

Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.

Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing ?

Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.

(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.)

Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.

Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. Better get back.

Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)

Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?

Andrew: Nope.

Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?

Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both row away quickly)

Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into his boat. The policeman ask Goober what he is doing: Goober says: "Somebody has to row the boat" pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying. The other fisherman get more irritated. After each question, the fisherman catches another fish, bigger than the last. (ham this up) The other gripe and protest. When the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs, spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."

Cast: 4 to 8 Cub Scouts.

Props: Fishing gear, a small row boat or cardboard silhouette of a boat, and a sign that says "boat dock".

Setting: The scene starts with the boat about 10 feet away from the boat dock. The Cub Scouts and their Den Chief are on their way to go fishing. The first Cub stops at the dock then walks out across the water and gets in the boat.

Girl 2: Hey wait for me! (he walks out to the boat)

Den Chief: Oh well... (steps into the water and pretends to fall in and drags himself back to shore)

Girl 3: Hey wait up. Here I come (walks out to the boat)

The Den Chief tries and fails again. The sequence continues until all the girls are in the boat and only the Den Chief remains on shore. Finally, one of the Cub Scouts says: "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"

One member seems to be wearing nothing but an overcoat in front of the campfire. As each scout approached him, he would (with his back turned to the audience) flash the "innocent" bystander. Each time that he flashed, the person would either be frightened off or else roll down a hill in uncontrolled hysterics. After his third victim he turned to the crowd and asked "Hey what's the deal?" Revealing that he was wearing shorts with a letter-sized photocopy of the face of the leader, camp director or the like. Once again showing that it's not always so hot to be popular

Girls standing in a line, first girl scratches, then second on down the line, last girl feels it and says "Oh there you are Marvin, I've been looking all over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin (girl acts as though Marvin has hopped away) you come back here.(goes out into the audience looking and touching people) There you are Marvin, you've got to stay here (looks at pretend speck) Hey you aren't Marvin, (puts it back into the audience) Oh Marvin where are you?

Characters: Ringmaster, Cub Scouts in Uniform (any number).

RINGMASTER: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the Den _____ Flea Circus. We will now present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we have silence, please?

[Two Cubs stretch a string. Third Cub places "flea" on the string. Cubs follow movement of flea with exaggerated head movements, as it walks to the center of the string, and turns the somersault. One girl with his mouth open gets too close to the string and gulps as if he had swallowed a "flea".)

FIRST CUB: [Puts hand over mouth, gulps loudly.] I swallowed Hugo! [Begins to cry and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: Err...uh...well... On with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump from this girl's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size of this tiny fellow.

[Girl makes motion of tossing "flea" into dish, then retrieves him in hand.]

RINGMASTER: Well done, Homer. Give the little guy a big hand.

[Girl claps quickly, forgetting Homer...looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, sobs and runs off stage.

RINGMASTER: Too bad. But we must compose ourselves. Our next fabulous act features Hector, the weight lifting Flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world. That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how small Hector is... compare his size to the size of this rock.

[Girl puts Hector on table, proudly points to him, flexes muscles, and points to Hector again.]

RINGMASTER: [To girl] Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it.

[Girl holds up rock in one hand for audience to see... then plops rock back down on table without looking. Looks around for Hector, picks up rock and finds smashed Hector.]

GIRL: Hector! Hector! [Sobs, hangs head, and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: We seem to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now introduce Harry, the bare-back riding flea.

[Girl removes shirt, then pretends to place "flea" on his bare back, then runs off stage yelling.]

GIRL: Hang on, Harry! [Looks over shoulder while running offstage.]

RINGMASTER: [Relieved.] He made it! And now Hiram and Hillary will perform their world famous trapeze act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will catch her.

[Girls hold up trapeze made of soda straws with a string through them. Two girls each hold one. Third girl places "flea" on trapeze and begin to swing it.]

RINGMASTER: There they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault. One, two, three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!

[Girls begin looking for Hillary on the floor.]

GIRL: There she is! Points to floor near second girl.]

SECOND GIRL: Where? [Takes a step where other girl pointed.]

GIRL: You just stepped on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster] we have another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea! [Opens box] Oops, he got away!

[Ringmaster begins to scratch frantically, yells help several times, and runs off stage. (Preferably into audience. ;) )

GIRLS: [Chasing him] Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!

[Curtain]

-- From the Theodore Roosevelt Council 1989 Powwow Book. Thanks to Chuck Bramlet, ASM Troop 323, Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon Council, Phoenix, Az

Cast: Performer

The performer is putting his trained flea Flora through all her tricks, explaining all her tricks as she does them. His eyes follow every flip, jump, etc. as she performs and lands back in his hand. The he asks her to jump to the ceiling. His eyes lose her and she doesn't return. He looks high and low (perhaps with the help of a friend) but can't find her. Finally he looks in someone's hair.

Performer: (Delighted) Flora! There you are! I'm so glad to have you back. (looks more closely.) But say ... this isn't Flora!

Alternate Ending ... when Flora has done all her tricks,

Performer: Let's hear a big round of applause for Flora! (Begins to clap, then stops, horrified, realizing what he's done.)

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !

Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.

Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !

Waiter : (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.

Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !

Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?

Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !

Girls on a flight to Germany or other destination. They act up and really give the stewardess or steward (den leader, 11 year old patrol leader etc.) a hard time. Finally, one of them bumps into her/him and knocks a tray on him/her. The steward/stewardess smiles and says, "Why don't you girls just run outside and play."

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !

Waiter: (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.

Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !

Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.

Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !

Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?

Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !

An easy 2-person skit if you have only one person who's thirsty.

Cast: 2 or 3 People, cup of water, combs, Narrator

Setting: Sahara Desert

Narrator: Here are some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the desert for days. Let's watch.

Two or three people are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally, they see the cup of water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally, they get to the water and,

People: Ahhhh! (Relieved -- they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to comb hair.)

This is a campfire skit. You can plan it carefully if you want. If you have a good spontaneous actor, he might be able to ad-lib responses to each object presented to him, without advance planning. The Announcer should always tell the audience what object is given to the Fortune Teller, because they usually will not be able to see clearly.

A small tent is set up, with an old lady sitting in front of it. This can be a Scout wrapped up in a blanket, who speaks with an old lady's voice. An Announcer introduces her as a very accurate teller of fortunes who can predict a person's future by touching anything belonging to the person.

The Announcer calls up a series of Scouts. He asks the first Scout what he has brought, and the Scout produces a pencil. The Announcer hands the pencil to the Fortune Teller and asks her to tell the future of the owner. The Fortune Teller waves her hands and mumbles some words and then predicts that the owner will become a writer.

The scene is repeated. A Scout produces a comb from his pocket, and the Fortune Teller predicts that he will become a hairdresser. A third Scout has a dollar, and she predicts that he will become a successful banker.

After several of these, the Scapegoat is summoned from the audience. The announcer asks what he has to show the Fortune Teller. No matter what the Scapegoat suggests, the Announcer says it is not good enough. Either it has been done before, or it is too easy, or "That's no fun!", or any other reason. Finally, the Announcer suggests that the Scapegoat try his shoe, and makes him take it off.

The shoe is handed to the Fortuneteller, who repeats her mumbo jumbo. (If the Fortune Teller is a good pantomime, this is a wonderful opportunity to make faces, hold her nose, etc.) She then announces, "You will take a long walk in the woods!" She throws the shoe far into the woods.

A person finds a four leaf clover. He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him. They accuse each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other. A policeman comes along, the other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky person is hauled off to jail. The lucky person reappears, disgruntled and unhappy. Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover. Another finds it. The former lucky man comes back on stage. The person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars and has good luck since he found it. The former lucky man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.

The narrator narrates, everyone else is volunteers.

"I need eleven volunteers for this skit."

"This skit is called the Four Seasons. You three are trees. You three are leaves in trees, get up in the trees. You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees. You two are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing. And you're the babbling brook. You have to babble."

"Babble babble babble babble ..."

"In the spring, the leaves come out on the trees. The birds flit from tree to tree."

"In the summer, the leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest. The birds form flocks"

"In the fall, the leaves drop from the trees. The birds fly away south."

"In the winter, the brook freezes and stops babbling. All seems still in the forest. But beneath it all there is still life. Look! The sap is still running!"

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

"Here in my hand is Fred the Trained Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch closely."

"Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"

"Fred, do a somersault!"

"Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.

"Now Fred will do a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster, or someone in authority.

"Fred, do a long jump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped into your hair!"

Walk over to the volunteer, start picking through their hair. "Here we are .. no, that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either." "Girl, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred? Fred?" ...

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends. The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into his boat. Goober pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

Cast: Story teller, hunter, game warden

The story teller tells the story, while the hunter pantomimes the story and his actions. The game warden comes in on cue.

Story Teller: There once was this hunter who was hunting for several years in the same location. Every year, he would see a deer grazing on the edge of a cliff, which was just outside the allowed hunting zone. The deer would never come into the hunting zone. Now this was a very big deer, and would have been a wonderful prize. But the hunter was always unsure, and didn't want to lose his license. Finally one year, the hunter decided that he was going to shoot the deer anyway, as he wasn't having much luck. He went up to the deer, saw that it was dead, and threw it over his right shoulder, then put his gun over his left shoulder. All of a sudden, the game warder came up to him.

Game Warden: Excuse me, sir, I was just watching you. What's that over your shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over left shoulder) That's my hunting rifle.

Game Warden: And what's that over your other shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over right shoulder, and shakes off the deer) AAHHHHHH!

The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

-- Thanks to James Brezina

An announcer asks if the audience will help with the squirrel's harvest. Several girls dressed up like squirrels with paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out into the audience bring back people known for their crazy behavior. They are gathered on the stage and the announcer says that the title of the skit will be, "The Gathering of the Nuts."

Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great expense to create one of my living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need some trees. (Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.)

Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.

(Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.)

Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything. (A tall participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.)

Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around. (Assistant Leaders are chosen for rabbits)

Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling ? (The brook takes his place.)

Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."

The scene is a general store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter. The counter is easily represented by a long table with a few items piled on it.

Behind the Storekeeper is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son. He has a full change of clothes with him.

The Storekeeper introduces himself. He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him to run it. He is very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every customer, no matter what the customer wants.

A customer enters, walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat. The Storekeeper turns and calls out, "Hey Son, I need a hat." The curtain moves, and a hand reaches through with a hat. The customer admires it, and they agree on a price. The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks out acting pleased.

Other customers repeat the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants. Each time, there is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay before the clothing is handed through the curtain. There are sounds of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment to sell whatever the customer needs.

The last customer walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear. The Storekeeper does not hear him, and makes him repeat it until everybody can hear clearly. Finally he says, "Oh of course. Underwear! Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens.

The Storekeeper repeats his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear." There is no answer. He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son, and says he will get the underwear himself. He stomps off behind the curtain.

The curtain shakes, and we hear, "No, Pa! No, Pa! No!" The Son runs through the curtain and across the stage wearing only underpants.

Cast: Ghost, Family asleep in house

Setting: House at Night

Ghost: (Going up to Mom, wakes her up -- uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Mom: Ahhh!

Ghost: (To Dad -- same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Dad: I'm getting out of here!

Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Son: Help! Mommy!

Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shut up! It's only 11:45!

Cast: Ghost, 3 Pedestrians

Setting: City Street

#1: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A loony!

Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#1 scared; drops loony; runs away)

#2: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar!

Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#2 scared; drops dollar; runs away)

#3: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! Money!

Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

#3: Keep it up, and you'll get another!

Two guys start a ghost catching business. They go to this house and can't get rid of the ghost. The ghost finally leaves because one of the guys sings very badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it and leaves.

On stage you have a girl concealed in a sleeping bag that is open on both ends, he is the Giant worm. Several "hikers" happen upon the worm. The hikers are eating and carrying with them a supply of candy bars. They look at each other in amazement ask each other "I wonder what he eats" The hikers hold some candy bars near the mouth of the worm. The worm gobbles up the candy bars wrappers and all. Then the worm quickly discards empty wrappers form the other end.(stuff happens). The hikers run away. Another group of hikers comes along drinking soft drinks and repeats the routine. The third group comes along with nothing to eat or drink. this group should have your smallest scout. this group also ponders what this giant worm would et. At that moment the worm gobbles the smallest scout. Then discards a pair of pants and shirt out the other end. The worm walks off with the eaten scout under the sleeping bag. The hikers run away.

There is a glass of water in the middle of the stage. First scout crawls across the floor crying for water. He dies dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl. The second person dies just short of the glass of water. The third person on his last bit of strength really hams up his desperation as much as he can. He reaches the water, takes out a comb, grooms his hair with the water, sighs with relief and goes off stage.

(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')

Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now the front wheel has come off. (Selects member of audience) Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks. (Selected person may have some comments to respond to - then they are led to the cart.)

Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)

Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)

Driver : Now what is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.)

Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else) Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts engine.)

Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)

Driver : (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help) (New help is positioned at rear wheel.)

Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts engine)

Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)

Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it going !

Three girls sitting on a bench or chairs in the front of the room. The two girls on outside have fishing poles, the one in the middle is reading a newspaper. Girls with lines act like they are fishing.

Cub 1: Sure haven't been catching much.

Cub 3: I haven't even had a nibble.

Policeman: (walks on from offstage.) What are you guys doing?

Cub 1: Fishing, sir.

Policeman: Can't you tell this is a pack meeting?

Cub 3: No, it's a pond!

Policeman: (nudges man with paper and he lowers it) Do you know these two characters?

Cub 2: (folds newspaper) Sure, they are my friends.

Policeman: In that case, you'd better get them out of here.

Cub 2: Yes, sir. (reaching behind chair, picks up a paddle and acts as if he is paddling away.)

A Scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face. He struggles noisily to get up, but keeps his forehead on the floor. He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor, and his butt in the air. He rotates in this position, keeping his forehead in one place. He calls for help for help, repeating "My forehead is stuck!"

As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but they do not help.

Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is effusively grateful, but the rescuer just looks at his face. He reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here!"

Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.

Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.

(Several girls are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.)

Scott : Girl, this is sure good soup.

Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.

David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.

Matthew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.

Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water !!!

Cast: Three or four Cubs or Scouts, Cook, Tub

Setting: Kitchen

#1: (Over tub, tasting contents) Good Soup!

#2: Yeah, Good Soup!

#3: I know! Good Soup!

#4: None better than this! Good Soup!

Cook: (Comes running in) Get out of my dishwater!

Cast: Grandson, Granny (2 people), Volunteer, Victim, campfire blanket(s)

Setting: In Granny's Room

Granny is in bed (say on the floor,) and of course is covered with blankets. Your two grannies lie down on their backs, as close together as possible, with heads in opposite directions. The head of one is exposed, the other being covered and where Granny's "feet" are.

Try to figure out a way to set up the audience such that it seems like the right way to be addressing Granny, such as Her being afraid of getting any worse and wanting to be completely covered up to avoid getting cold.

Grandson: (To Granny) Granny! Wake Up! It's time for your pill! (Pause -- no response.) Granny! Wake Up! Oh no! She may be dead! (Ham it up, girls!) My gosh, I'll need some help! (Get volunteer.) Help me wake Granny!

Both of them: Granny! Wake UP! Wake Up!

Grandson: Oh, what ever will we do? She needs to take that pill! I think we need more help! (Get victim.) Will you help us? Just call out with us to wake up Granny.

All of them: GRANNY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Grandson: Maybe if you stand over her and ask her for a sign that she's still alive.

Victim: OK. (Stands over her) Granny! Wake Up! Please! Give me a sign!

Granny's "back end" rises up and hits him on the behind.

Paint a verbal picture of the various scouts acting as a cash register (person says ching, ching), popcorn machine (goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal, swinging saying creak, creak), tree, chair, etc. Have three guys standing there with no parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a time, as customers. They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice, gum, etc. Finally disgusted, a customer asks what she does have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers standing in the corner.

Cast: GSITW, Partner with metal pot (with a bit of water in it) and a pebble

Setting: Boardwalk, Circus, Amusement Park

Separate GSITW and partner by about 15 feet.

Partner: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I present to you the Greatest Spitter in the World! He does all kinds of tricks with a mere spit! Let him show you the simple spit first!

GSITW sends off a regular spit, which is caught in the pot by the partner. When it's supposed to land, he hits the bottom of the pot with a secret pebble he holds in his hand.

Partner: Ladies and Gents! That is not all he can do! Watch his fastball!

Again, another spit which immediately "lands" in the pot. Continue with tricks, such as slow spit, high spit, round the world spit (in which case each turns around, backs facing each other, and the spit takes a while to come around but indeed does,) curve spit, and so on. Finally,

Partner: Now for his last spit! It's a really difficult spit but we think we have it! It's a high, quadruple axle, curvy, spring jump spit! We must have absolute silence for this one!

GSITW spits up, partner follows it up, doing 4 spins, it curves side to side, begins to jump up and down in air, then he seems to lose it ... no, there it is ... he goes side to side, trying to catch it, he trips and spills the water on the crowd.

Girl 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece.

(Girl 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.)

Girl 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.

Girl 2: Oh yeah, that's in back of the cafeteria.

Characters: A Building Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made for one person)

Contractor (inside house): Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks to space that is living room).

Wife: I like white.

Husband: No, how about blue?

Wife: How 'bout tan?

Husband: Okay.

Contractor: Okay...(writes down on paper) um.. wait just a second. The contractor goes to the window looks out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green side up!"

This repeats for two more rooms. Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side Up", couple converses between themselves and are not sure about the sanity of the contractor.

After the last room:

Husband: Mr. (whatever you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!" outside the window? We didn't order any green wall paper!?!

Contractor: Oh. I am sorry folks. Girl scout troop is being lead by Scout Master and we just want to make sure the sod gets laid down right.--

-- Thanks to Josh Small

Cast: Shopper with a BIG package higher than his head, Pedestrian, People who are Cars and One Bus

Setting: Busy Intersection

Cars and trucks whiz by and don't stop for pedestrians.

Shopper: Excuse me, Sir, could you tell me when there's nothing coming down the street, so that I may cross?

Pedestrian: Sure. (Pauses until cars stop whizzing by. Bus begins coming down the street.) Now you can cross. There's only a dog coming. (He begins to cross; bus hits him.)

New Setting: Hospital Ward

Pedestrian: (To shopper in bed) Gee, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.

Shopper: It's all right. These things happen once in a while. But tell me, why did you say there was a dog coming down the street when it was really a bus?

Pedestrian: Well, it was a Greyhound!

The cardboard box needs to be large enough to hold one of the players and various props. "Load" it and push it on stage, where a narrator explains that this marvelous machine has been invented by tonight's guest, Professor..., who will demonstrate its tremendous powers. He introduces the professor, who enters carrying a bag of his props.

The professor explains he has invented a wonderful machine that makes things grow. He proceeds to demonstrate. He pulls a small piece of paper from his sack, pushes buttons, etc., and throws in the piece of paper (sound effects, flashing lights). The player inside throws out a paperback book. The demonstration continues with small ball in, large ball out; piece of string in, hunk of rope out; etc. Finally, the professor throws in a baby doll. The player inside jumps out in baby clothes, cries "Daddy!", and chases him off stage.

-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, May 1989

The cardboard box needs to be large enough for a player to poke in his head. Face the opening away from the audience. Set up a striped pole and use a few other barbershop props. The "customer" wears a tight fitting light-colored bathing cap to hide his hair and, over the cap, a long scraggly wig loose-fitting enough that he can shake it off when he needs to but well enough anchored that it won't fly off too early.

Barber is on stage. Customer enters and asks for a hair cut. Barber checks him out, announces he thinks this is a job for his brand new haircut machine, and convinces the customer to try it. Customer sticks his head into the back of the box and barber turns it on (sound effects). Customer yells, flails, flops and goes through incredible contortions, shaking off the wig in the process. Barber, unperturbed, turns off the machine. Customer pulls out "bald" head and races screaming off stage.

-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, May 1989

A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a hamburger. The waiter bring out his hamburger. The man starts eating his hamburger and finds a hair in it; complains to waiter and another one is brought out. The second hamburger has a hair in it and is taken back. The third hamburger also has a hair in it. The man gets upset and demands to see the cook. The cook comes out and the man asks him how he makes his hamburgers. The cook says that all he does is roll the meat and demonstrates making patties by placing the meat under his arm and squeezes.

Three scouts are doing laundry, each is sitting behind a bucket which holds his "laundry". Two of the buckets really have water and a rag or two. All three work at scrubbing and wringing water from their laundry for a few seconds. One sitting on the end shakes the water from his hands getting his neighbor slightly wet. This provokes the scout in the middle who retaliates with a splash back ... escalate in comedic fashion till the one on the end throws a wet rag at the face of the "scout" in the middle who ducks. The rag sails on till it smacks the scout on the far end (previously not involved in the water fight) in the face. The smack-ee picks up his bucket to dump on the others who take flight into the audience.

The Punch line: When the actors are in the crowd the smack-ee tosses the contents of his bucket in a wide arc over as much of the audience as possible. In the version I saw the bucket was filled with pieces of newspaper but in a Scouting setting a bucket full of leaves would work just a well. If the actors have a little talent and practice this can be extremely funny.

Cast: Dog owner, Passengers on bus, stuffed animal

Setting: City Bus

Owner goes around on the bus asking people if they've seen his Belly Button. Some ignore him, women gasp, people are horrified, some respond, "The nerve of him!" "How crude!" "What a rude person!" Finally he spots the toy and exclaims,

Person: Ah! Belly Button! There you are, you bad dog!

Cast: Heart Attack Victim, 2 "Rescuers"

Setting: City Street

HAV is walking down the street and all of a sudden, he falls to the ground, holding his chest. Two men come up and seeing this, they begin CPR.

#1: Mister! (Claps hands.) Hmm. Check for breathing! I'll check for a pulse! (nothing) We need to do CPR. Give AR!

#2: (Does two breaths)

#1: (Pumping chest, counting aloud) 1,2,3,4....15! Again!

(Repeats 3 times; then checks; then.)

#1: Okay -- check for breathing, and I'll check for a pulse! (They check.)

Nothing! Switch!

All THREE, including victim, switch places!

You can get your favorite leader or friend with this one.

Need: 5 or more scouts (1 is an announcer, 1 is an Angel).

Announcer: Here we are at the Gates of Heaven.

Scout 1: (Walks up to angel at gate) Hello, I see I've come to Heaven.

Angel: Well, you're not in yet ! First you've got to tell me how you suffered on Earth.

Scout 1: Well, I spent a week eating camp food.

Angel: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough. (Scout 1 exits dejectedly.)

Scout 2: (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.

Angel: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered ?

Scout 2: I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my feet.

Angel: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into Heaven. (Scout 2 exits)

Scout 3: (Enters) Can I get into Heaven ?

Angel: How did you suffer ?

Scout 3: I'm in (Pick someone's name who can take a joke) (troop/pack/six/class, etc.)

Angel: Well, come on in !!

-- From The U.S. Scouting Service Project

The trainer has a flea various tricks, when suddenly he loses Herman, his trained flea. He searches around for Herman, calling for him, eventually a person is brought forward with a flea in his hair. The punch line is, "This isn't Herman!"

A girl comes out and says something like, "Hic - I can't - Hic - get rid of these Hic-ups". Another person comes out and asks what wrong. He is told and yells "BOO!" to help the girl get rid of his hiccups. It didn't work. Several more people try various methods to get rid of the hiccups and they are fail. Last method is tried and seems to work, but just as he leaves the stage starts hiccuping again, so he falls to the floor in despair.

Cast: 2 Friends, HTCITW

Setting: Campfire

Tree climber is hidden in the woods and is able to ruffle a bush or tree.

1: You know, they say there's this really good tree climber trying out for the Olympics. I wonder if he's practicing around here?

2: Call out and see!

1: Hey! Tree Climber! You around here?

Climber: Yep!

1: You practicing?

Climber: Yep!

1: How high are you?

Climber: Oh, not high. About 100 feet.

1: Wow! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 200 feet.

1: Fantastic! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 275 feet.

1: Neato! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 325 feet.

1: Great! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 400 feet.

1: Gee! I'm amazed!

2: Excuse me, Sir, but I have a book here that says that the highest tree in the world is only 360 feet high!

Climber: Ahhhhhh!!!!!! (Thump!)

Cast: 3 Lost Campers

Setting: Woods

#1: Girl, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days!

#2: Me too.

#3: And I would just love a hot meal.

#1: (Looking to ground) Wow! A rabbit! Jump it! (#1 & 2 jump it and catch it; they start to eat it.)

#2: (Looking back at #3) Would you like some?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

#1: Suit yourself.

(A little later)

#2: Hey! A squirrel! Get it!

(#1 & 2 get it and start tearing it apart)

#1: (To #3) Would you like a morsel?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

(A little later)

#1: Wow! A moose!

#2: Be very quiet. (#1 & 2 jump it and kill it; they start eating it)

#1: Look, there's plenty here, we don't need to keep it all to ourselves, even if we did get this without your help. There's too much to eat anyway. Want any?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

#2: Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything for even longer than us two.

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

(After a while,)

#1: Boy, I'm stuffed.

#2: Me too. But I think I'm getting sick. (Throws up.)

#1: I'm sick, too. (Throws up.)

#3: Wow! A hot meal!

Cast: 5 People, Cabby

Setting: Outside of Restaurant

#1: Boy, what a meal. I really gorged myself.

#2: Me too.

#3: Eating that much makes it hard to walk. Let's get a cab.

#4: Agreed.

#5: Taxi!

(They all get in.)

Cabby: Get ready for a good ride, girls.

The cabby pantomimes driving, going along like a race driver, swerving from side to side, up and down hills, does a real roller coaster ride. Sort of like my driving, if you've experienced it. The people swerve left to right with the driver, all hanging on to dear life and lunch, until they all throw up.

Cabby: Wow! A five course meal!

There are roughly 255 quintillion quazillion variations of this skit out on the market, including robbers, suicide pills, car crashes and so on. You may more commonly know this one as "Veech Boton?" I'll give you the version I learned and the only non-rancid version I've seen yet. [This is also similar to "Submarine Patrol" here in the Big Book.]

Cast: 5 Guys kneeling in line (1st is captain, last is dummy)

Setting: Submarine

Captain: (Looking through periscope) Aim torpedo 1!

2: Aim torpedo 1!

3: Aim torpedo 1!

4: Aim torpedo 1!

5: How do I do that?

4: How do I do that?

3: How do I do that?

2: How do I do that?

Captain: With button 1!

And so on down the line.

5: Oh! (Presses button 1.) (Poof!)

Captain: Ahch! We missed!

And so on down the line.

Captain: Fire torpedo 2!

And so on down the line, after which is, "How do I do that?" "With button 2!" on down the line. Continue down through to torpedo 4 (or 5 or however many,) each time the captain becoming more frustrated and annoyed and calling the guy names etc. Each exclamation, for the best effect, should be repeated down the line. Finally, they run out of torpedoes and then...

Captain: The only thing left to do now is to kill myself (shoots himself.)

And so on down the line.

5: How do I do that?

Same kind of situation, but this time it's a bunch of garbage collectors, racing their truck down their route.

Driver: Okay! Try the first one! (They miss.)

Others: Darn! Next time we'll get it right! (And so on at every stop.)

Finally...

Driver: Well, guys, we missed all of the garbage stops. I guess the only honorable thing to do is to pick up the garbage properly! (And they do.)

The Master of Ceremonies announces that the next skit as, "How Indians tell time in the dark". He recruits a few scout to dance (Indian style) around the campfire fire and Indian chanting at the same time. The MC stops and says "listen" hearing nothing he says this is not working. He then recruits more volunteers, dance sing chant, etc. He stops the group to listen, (still nothing). He gets even more volunteers, repeat dance, sing chant, the final time when he stops the group to listen someone from offstage yells: "Would you be quiet! Don't you know its 2:00 o'clock in the morning?"

Two girls, one eats vegetables, exercises, ballerate (ballet & karate), runs (gets a kid to chase him home-school bully). The other kid eats candy bars, plays baseball with guys. First guy (vegetable eater) makes the team and the other kid doesn't. The other kid says; "What did I do wrong? Whaaa ! ! !"

Before introducing this stunt, choose three people to leave the room. They should not overhear the narrator. Narrator explains to audience that the stunt is called "How to Wash an Elephant", a classic example in communications. He tells the following story and pantomimes the motions as he goes.

Narrator: One morning, Farmer Friendly went out to the barn to begin his chores (pantomime walking). He threw open the barn door, and to his surprise, he found an elephant in his barn (pantomime throwing open door, surprise). The farmer didn't know what to do with the elephant so he decided that the first thing to do was to wash it. He led the elephant from the barn (pick up the elephant's trunk and walking with it over your shoulder, open and close barn door). He left the elephant near the pump, got a bucket and scrub brush and pumped the bucket full of water (pantomime the actions). Now he was ready to begin. First he scrubbed the left side (lift up elephant's ear and wash that). Then he was ready for the stomach (lie down on floor; wriggle under elephant and scrub underside). Next, the right side (repeat actions as for left side). Then he scrubbed the elephant's face (pantomime scrubbing between eyes and down length of trunk). Almost done (walk to rear of the elephant, gingerly lift up tail and quickly scrub there). There, that's done! (Pantomime throwing out rest of water, putting the brush in bucket and setting bucket beside pump. Take the elephant by his trunk and lead him back to the barn, open door, lead him in, go out and shut door behind.)

Narrator tells audience he will call people back in, one by one, and pantomime the stunt, without benefit of narrative. The first person will do what he remembers for the second person, and so on. He will, of course, have no idea what the motions mean, so it can be very funny. By the time the actions are pantomimed for the third person, it will be distorted and bear little resemblance to the original version.

After all three have tried their luck, the narrator explains the story and tells them what they were doing.

Five guys sleeping in a tent, all in a row. The scoutmaster on one end, the little scout on the other.

The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds.

The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds.

The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"OK! OK!", says the scoutmaster, "If you've gotta go, then go."

The little scout stands up and waves his hands in the air: "Weee!!!!"

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

No props are needed, although the actors can make up bits of costumes that emphasize their roles. The evil professor can wear a long white lab coat. Some rehearsal is wise, to get the most out of each performance.

A large Scout lies stiffly in the middle of the stage. The Professor enters and introduces himself, giving a very Russian-sounding name. He boasts about his great abilities and how he will prove that he is the greatest scientist in the world. He has created a monster named Igor, who can obey three different commands! With these commands, the Professor will control the world.

The Professor is interrupted by a loud knock on the door (from off-stage). A Scout enters, trying to sell a subscription to home delivery of the local newspaper. The Professor refuses, but the Scout persists. The Professor turns to the audience and says, "Now you will see what I can do with my monster!"

He turns and points to Igor and says, "Igor! Stand!" Igor slowly stands up. The Professor says, "Igor! Walk!" Igor stiffly walks toward the Scout.

He says, "Igor! Kill!" Igor reaches out and strangles the Scout, who dies with a great show of anguish.

"Ha! Ha!" says the Professor, "Now you see what I have achieved! Now you know that I can control the world with Igor and my three commands!" Igor slowly goes back and lies down.

The scene is repeated at least twice more, with a Girl Scout selling cookies, a religious zealot, a vote-seeking politician, or a door-to-door salesman. Each time, the Professor boasts, he is interrupted by a persistent salesman, and he uses the three commands. Each salesman is killed off.

The Professor finally comes to the front of the stage, with Igor lying among the bodies behind him. He boasts again about his three commands, and how he will use them to control the world. All he has to do is say, "Igor! Stand!" Igor stands.

"Igor! Walk!" Igor walks toward the Professor, who does not notice him.

"Igor! Kill!" Igor kills the Professor, turns, and lies back down.

Cast: Murderer, BUTTER knife, Jar of peanut butter, Sleeping Family Members

Setting: In House at Night When All Are Asleep

Thief is looking around the house, with a flashlight perhaps and holding the BUTTER knife (anything else would be overkill, and dangerous) and is always saying, "I'm gonna get you!" in a way that COULD suggest he's trying to find the members to kill them in their sleep. Be CAREFUL to only make references that are VERY vague. He goes around in the different rooms of the house, sometimes saying, "Not here," perhaps in reference to sleeping people. Finally,

Murderer: Ahh! They sure do keep the peanut butter in a crazy place in this house! (Starts to enjoy the PB using the butter knife.)

Cast: 4 Russians, 1 Person late for work

All actors come out one at a time, using Russian accents except the last person.

#1: (Comes out) I'm Russian!

#2: I'm Russian! Thank you! (Bows.)

#3: I'm Russian! Qvestions?

#4: I'm Russian!

#5: I'm late for work and I'm rushin' too!

The setting can be either a king or a boss in his office who beckons to a courtier or assistant that he wants his royal or important papers. The person runs in with a sheath of papers, the king or boss quite agitated tosses them aside and demands that they bring him his important papers. Other people bring in other things one at a time such as a Girl Scout Handbook etc. the king throws them aside and gets more and more upset demanding that he have his important papers. At last the some one comes in with a roll of toilet paper (court jester, office girl etc.). The king knights him or the boss promotes him thanking him profusely and runs off the stage in visible relief.

Scene: Six to eight players sit around a table scattered with papers, a couple of water glasses, etc. They mime a discussion, some jotting down notes, etc.

Enter the narrator, outfitted as a news reporter. In confidential tones, the reporter explains that this is an important meeting of the group committee, gathered on this occasion to make some very important decisions.

As the narrator says something like, "Let's see if we can get a bit closer to hear how things are going", the group at the table add some mumbling and unintelligible arguing to their mime. Occasionally, they punctuate the din with outbursts such as, "No, no!"; "I disagree!"; "That's better"; "No way!"; "That might work" and the like.

Finally, the hubbub dies, the group settles back. One member stands and announces, "Then it's decided; a 12-slice pizza with olives, mushrooms, lots of cheese, but hold the pepperoni."

All: Agreed!

You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening. Before the salesman can sell anything, he needs stock. Call for volunteers from the audience: four to lie down to make the rug; three to crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all fours as the coffee table. When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch. The salesman shows him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price. He pays particular attention to the coffee table: beautiful, sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.

The customer shows some interest. The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee. When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee table and jiggles it gently. "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves. The dejected salesman dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves. The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get up without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself. Cheer him on!

A scout runs in to a camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is five miles away!" The soldiers look up, mumble, and act nervous.

A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is one mile away!" The soldiers stand up and start gathering their gear.

A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! They're just over the hill!" All the soldiers scream and run away, opposite direction that the scout came from.

Two people run in from the direction the scouts came from, carrying an infant tree. They run after the soldiers.

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Cast: 3-4 People, Person carrying a sapling

#1: (Runs in) The Infantry is coming! Go to the bomb shelters!

#2: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Save yourselves!

#3: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's help them!

#4: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's watch the tanks!

(A moment later)

Person: And here it is, the Infant Tree.

One person is laying on the floor. Two other people walk up.

First person: "Hey this guy is hurt." he goes and checks his heart beat.

First person: "No heart beat, help me do CPR"

Second person goes down and starts pumping on the chest and the first guy does the mouth blows. Do this for a little while.

Second person: "I'm getting kind of tired here I think it is time to switch."

First person: "OK, ready"

At this point the person on the ground gets up, one of the other people goes down and they start doing CPR again.

-- Thanks to Chris Hennessy

Cast: Leader, 3-4 Kids in messy uniforms, missing hats, inside out, not tucked in, and so on, and One Kid in perfect, full uniform

Setting: Meeting Hall

Leader: Troop! (Does the sign.) Line up for inspection.

Kid in perfect uniform is at end of line. Leader checks each one, says "Hmm," at each one, writes down something. Gets to last kid.

Leader: Johnny! You're in perfect uniform! How many times will it take for you to get it right! You make the others look bad!

Two ditch diggers are digging a ditch when their boss walks by and then just stands around. One digger turns to the other and ask why they have to do all the work, while the boss gets paid more. The other man does not know and suggest the he go ask the boss. He then asks the boss, who explains its "intelligence". The worker asks "what do you mean?. The boss says "let me demonstrate it to you" whereupon he puts his hand against a tree and tells the worker to hit his hand as hard as he can. When the worker tries, the boss pulls his hand away, and the worker hits the tree instead. The boss says, "You see that's intelligence, now go back to work!". When he returns to the ditch, the other man asks him what the answer is. The injured worker explains its "inteelgence". He explains to the other worker by putting his hand on the front of his own face and says: "See this hand, hit it as hard as you can!"

You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening. Before the salesman can sell anything, he needs stock. Call for volunteers from the audience: four to lie down to make the rug; three to crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all fours as the coffee table. When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch. The salesman shows him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price. He pays particular attention to the coffee table: beautiful, sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.

The customer shows some interest. The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee. When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee table and jiggles it gently. "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves. The dejected salesman dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves. The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get up without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself. Cheer him on! ---

-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, January 1990

Need: 4 (or more) scouts .

First girl is squatting as though sitting on an invisible bench. The second girl comes in and asks what the first is doing.

"I'm sitting on the invisible bench."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure, there's plenty of room."

Second girl pretends to sit.

A third girl comes along, and the scene repeats.

Go on for as many girls as you want.

When the last girl comes along, asks and is answered, he says "But I moved it over there this morning!"

AAAAHHHHHH!!!! All seated girls fall down.

-- Thanks to Richard A Quinnell, Pack 609 Monterey Bay Area Council

Cast: Grandma, Grandpa

Setting: Train Station

Grandma: (In old voice) Grandpa, is a train passing from the south today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the south, returns, and in an old voice,) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the north today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the north, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the east today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the east, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the west today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the west, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Good. We can cross the tracks now.

Cast: Captain Kidd, Other people walking by, Mirror

Setting: Street

C.K.: I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, ugliest pirate to roam the seas. Watch this. (Tries to scare first man walking by.)

Man: I'm not scared of you!

C.K. keeps on trying to scare people going to work ("Late for work!") walking the dog (Dog runs up and starts to play with C.K.) kids (they laugh, "Hey! Halloween isn't till next month!") and so on. Finally, he's quite dismayed.

C.K.: Hmm. Maybe I'm not so scary after all. Maybe I should go into movies. (Looks at himself in the mirror.) Ahhh! (Runs away scared.)

Have several girls standing in a line (facing the audience) with one arm on the next girls shoulder. The first girl in line looks at the second and asks the second girl, "IS it time yet?" The second girl asks the third girl the same question and so on down the line. The girl at the end of the line looks at his watch and says to the girl next to him, "No, its not time yet," and this continues on up the line to the first girl in the line again with each girl saying it in turn. This can continue a couple times; then when it gets to the last girl, he says, "It's time!" and when the message gets back to the first girl each girl moves his arm from the other's shoulder and puts his other arm on the girl next to him.

Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right, right arm crossed over left.

First Scout in line asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" -

Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.

Last Scout says: "NO"

Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.

After a lonnnnnnnng pause, First Scout asks: "IS IT TIME YET?"

It goes down the line as before.

Last Scout says: "NO"

Again and the word is passed back.

Another long pause...............

First Scout asks again: "IS IT TIME YET?" etc and,

Last Scout says: "YES" the answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to right foot over left and left arm over right.

Text from Best of Leader Magazine Cut Out pages:

Six to ten players sit in a line facing the audience, legs stretched out in front of them, left leg crossed over right at the ankle. The player at one end asks the one beside him, "Is it time yet?" The question passes from person to person down the line. The last player looks at his watch and tells the person beside him, "No, not yet." The reply passes from player to player back up the line to the first person. Players send question and answer up and down the line three or four times, each time becoming more and more impatient and fidgety. Finally, the end player replies, "Yes, it's time now." The news passes from one to another up the line to the first player who says, "Oh, thank goodness!" At this point, all the players uncross their legs and re-cross them right over left.

Cast: Patrol asleep (ie. lying down) in tent

Scout 1: Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: Go back to sleep.

Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: Go back to sleep!

Other Scouts wake up and mumble, "Aw, keep quiet," "Stop whining," "You're keeping us awake," etc.

Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: (Annoyed) Go back to sleep!

Other Scouts wake up and mumble, "Aw, keep quiet," "Stop whining," "You're keeping us awake," etc.) (continues once or twice more. Finally,

Scout 1: But Scouter, I really gotta go Wee!

Scouter: (Really annoyed and exasperated) Fine, Johnny, GO WEE!

Scout 1: (Sits up, starts wiggling arms and calls out,) WEEEEE! WWWEEEEEEEEEEE!

One Scout is standing on stage. A Second Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "Those are nice shoes. Where did you get them?" The Second Scout says, "J. C. Penny [J.C. Penny is a department store in the USA.] " and walks off.

A Third Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice shirt. Where did you get it?" The Third Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Fourth Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice pair of pants. Where did you get them?" The Fourth Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Sixth Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice hat. Where did you get it?" The Sixth Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Seventh Scout walks up wearing only a towel. The First Scout says, "Who are you?" The Seventh Scout says, "I'm J. C. Penny."

Cast: Person standing on street, 3 Friends passing by, JC Penny in underwear/swim suit only

Setting: Street Corner

Remember that all of the friends come from the same side of the stage, and leave on the same other side (ie. all are walking in the same direction.)

Person: Hey, Frank! Nice to see you! Hey, I like those shoes! Where'd you get them?

Frank: JC Penney! Look, I gotta run! Bye!

Another friend comes up.

Person: John! Nice shirt! Where did you get it?

John: JC Penney! Real nice clothes! See you!

Another friend shows up.

Person: Steve! Hey! The pants! I love 'em. Where'd you get 'em?

Steve: JC Penney! Bye!

JC Penney comes running through.

Person: Hey! Who are you? Why are you running around like that?

JC: I'm JC Penney! I'm trying to get my clothes back!

Cast: Army Recruiter, Trainees

Setting: Gymnasium

Recruiter: (To audience) Join the army and learn some great skills! You can become rough and tough like me! For instance, you can learn wrestling! (Two trainees wrestle on the floor) And how about judo! (Trainees do a judo flip) And Tai-Chi! (Trainees do Tai-Chi moves.) And my personal favorite, Karate! (Tries a Karate chop on a trainee; trainee blocks it, recruiter hurts himself and runs away crying.)

A patrol of scouts are sitting around the campfire, eating their dinner. Every once in a while an older scout will yell out a number and all of the scout will laugh hysterically. All except one new scout who just looks around. Finally after three or four numbers have been yelled he the new scout ask his patrol leader about what is going on. The Patrol leader explains that at some camps they got in trouble for the jokes they told so they memorized the jokes. Each member just says a number in order to tell a joke. The Patrol leader gives the new scout a book of jokes to learn. The new scout finds a joke and yells "52". Nothing happens. He asks the patrol leader why no one laughed. The patrol leader says: "Some guys just don't know how to tell a joke!"

Cast: 2 People, Radio Voice

Setting: Park

#1: Boy, what a lunch! Those Jumbo Burgers were really strange -- but good. I wonder why they wouldn't tell us what kind of meat was in it?

#2: Oh, you know, they tell that, then people will expect the kinds of spices and other ingredients they put in and they'll lose their secret recipe.

#1: You're right. But I'm still curious.

#2: Yeah, but forget it. Maybe we'll go back tomorrow and have another. Let's turn on the radio.

Radio Voice: Jumbo the Elephant from Lodge's traveling circus died last night during a performance from a heart attack. And for this week's "Poor Taste" award, given to restaurants for serving poor quality food, goes to Richi's Burger House. It appears that they have been serving "Jumbo Burgers" whose origins seem to be a little vague .... (Guys realize what they ate and start to throw up.)

Cast: Reporter, Doctor, Bus driver, Pilot, Mechanic, Cook, Tax Consultant (and/or just about whoever you need -- the only constant is the Reporter.)

Setting: Cliff

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. (Swings arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ... (Suddenly,)

Doctor: Hey! What are you doing?

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. Why are you here?

Doctor: I haven't had a patient come to visit me in weeks. And I goofed all of the operations I've filled in for. Hey! Why don't we commit suicide together?

Reporter: That sounds great. (They swing arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ...

Bus Driver: Hey! What are you doing?

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff.

Doctor: I haven't had a patient come to visit me in weeks. And I goofed all of the operations I've filled in for. So we're going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. Why are you here?

Bus Driver: I keep on having accidents with my bus, so they fired me. Hey! Why don't we commit suicide together?

Reporter and Doctor: That sounds great. (They swing arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ...

Pilot comes in at the same time and asks what's going on -- same thing happens, he gets asked why he's here, so he says that he keeps on crashing planes. They all are about to jump when the cook comes in, and the same thing happens, and he says that he always burns the food he cooks. They all are about to jump when the tax consultant comes in and explains, the same way the others did, that he keeps giving bad tax advice and the government is jailing his customers for tax fraud. Finally, they all are about to jump, and they do -- except for the reporter who says,

Reporter: Hey! What a story!

Cast: Karate Expert, 3 Muggers, 1 Mugger with a gun

Expert: I now can feel safe when I walk through the park and not have to worry about muggers now that I know karate from all over the world. For instance,(mugger sneaks up to him, gets a karate chop,) Hiii-Ya! I learned that Japanese Karate Chop in Osaka, Japan. (Another mugger sneaks up.) I learned this --(flips him) -- the Chinese Mugger Flip -- in Southern China. (Yet another mugger sneaks up.) I learned the Round the World Kick, like this one (does a turn & kicks him) in Korea. So you see, I'm quite safe in the Park.

Suddenly another mugger runs in and shoots the expert dead.

Mugger: That was a shot from a .45 special I got from the Sears Catalogue!

Cast: 6 Cubs

Setting: Five Cubs Sitting in Their Clubhouse (indicated by appropriate signs) playing a game.

Cub 1: (Runs in, very excited) Hey, you guys! Did you hear about the big contest?

Cub 2: What contest? What's it about?

Cub 1: The "Keep Canada Beautiful Contest," that's what!

Cub 3: Are there prizes? A contest is no good without prizes.

Cub 1: Sure, lots of prizes. Neat ones like bicycles and radios, and lots of good stuff!

Cub 4: (Gloomily) I bet it's hard. Contests with neat prizes are always hard.

Cub 1: Nope! It's easy. Even the rules say it's SIMPLE -- in big letters. The winner is the one who picks the easiest way.

Cub 5: The easiest way to do what?

Cub 1: The easiest way to keep Canada Beautiful. That's what I've been talking about!

Cub 6: (With a swagger) Ha! Then I'm a cinch to win!

Cub 1: Why's it so cinchy for you? What's your great way to keep Canada beautiful?

Cub 6: (Takes out comb and combs his hair) See! That's the easiest way I know to keep Canada Beautiful.

The others look at him, then at each other. Quickly they surround him, carry or drag him to a large box marked TRASH, and dump him in.

Cub 1: Like he said, fellahs, we're a cinch to win! That's the easiest way I know to keep Canada beautiful. (they exit, laughing while Cub 6 stands up in the trash box with a disgusted look on his face.)

A person comes out with a length of rope. He proceeds to give a knot demonstration some of which do not turn the way he expects. He has creative and imaginative names for his knots such as the double hitch back loop tie, clove hitch with a triple loop bight, etc. The last knot he ties is one that he says that a person can't loosen. The more they try to loosen the knot the more it tightens. He demonstrates a temporary version of this around his neck. He pulls on the knot when he is finishes and exclaims, "Oh no, I've tied the wrong knot, I've tied the permanent version, and leaves the stage choking.

"I am the King. Bring me my raisins!"

First squire, "Here are raisins, sire, from the hills of California!"

"Those raisins are not fit for peasants! Bring me my raisins!"

Second squire, "Here are raisins, sire, from the vineyards of France!"

The King, "They are hardly worth sneezing at. Bring me my raisins!"

Third squire ,"These raisins, sire, were hand-picked with tweezers by Benedictine Monks in Germany! "

The King, "These are the worst yet! Bring me my royal raisin supplier!"

Two guys drag in the royal raisin supplier

The King, "Why have you not brought me my raisins?"

Royal raisin supplier, "My rabbit died!"

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

A person comes out with a length of rope. He proceeds to give a knot demonstration some of which do not turn the way he expects. He has creative and imaginative names for his knots such as the double hitch back loop tie, clove hitch with a triple loop bight, etc. The last knot he ties is one that he says that a person can't loosen. The more they try to loosen the knot the more it tightens. He demonstrates a temporary version of this around his neck. He pulls on the knot when he is finishes and exclaims, "Oh no, I've tied the wrong knot, I've tied the permanent version, and leaves the stage choking.

The scene is a living room with a radio playing. A Scout is changing stations. There is an announcement, read from off stage: "We interrupt this station to bring you an important news bulletin. A criminal known as the Land Shark has been seen on the streets of this town! He knocks on the doors of suspecting people, disguises his voice, and upon entrance, devours them leaving no traces. If the Land Shark shows up at your door, do not open it, and call the police immediately. We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast."

Scout, turning off radio: "I hope that Land Shark doesn't show up here."

Three loud knocks are heard. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pizza delivery"

Scout: "Oh, great! Come on in!" He reaches offstage to open the door. Hands reach out and pull him off with a loud growl. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on another Scout: "I've heard so many rumors about that Land Shark. I'm curious." (Three loud knocks.) "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Luke Paterson from Metropolitan Life."

Scout: "What do you want?"

Offstage: "I need to review your policy. Your never know when something might happen!"

Scout: "Come in." Opens door. Loud growl. Grabbed and pulled offstage. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an older Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pharmacy delivery."

Scout: "I didn't order any medicine."

Offstage: "Candygram."

Scout: "From whom?"

Offstage: "Plumber."

Scout: "My pipes are fine! Say, I know who this is. It's that nasty Land Shark!"

Offstage, in a small voice: "I'm only a guppy, sir."

Scout: "Oh, all right. Come in, then." Opens the door and is pulled offstage. More growls. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an old, sharp Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Girl Scout Troop 144. Would you like to buy some fertilizer, sir?"

Scout, looks at the audience and smiles knowingly: "Just a minute." He gets a large stick and prepares to hit the Shark. "Come in."

He swings the stick offstage. There is a loud thump. A very young Scout in full uniform stumbles onto the stage and dramatically falls, face first.

One person bends over pantomiming a lawn mower. This "mower" rumbles and shakes, sputtering, as the gardener tries to start it. It doesn't start. Other members of the skit try to start it with no luck. The gardener chooses a volunteer out of the audience to try and start it and it starts up right away chugging along. The gardener explains all it took was a bigger JERK.

(One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.)

Owner : (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters) This darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some help. (Gets help from another participant.)

Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it started ? That's easy ! (Yanking rope)

Mower : (Splutters, bobs up and down)

Helper #1: I'm sorry. I can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas ?

Owner : Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else has a strong arm. (Selects another participant) What I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the starting rope and make it run.

Helper #2: Sure thing. (Yanks rope a couple of times.)

Mower : (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)

Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.

Owner : What I need is someone big and strong (Selects a Leader) (Leader will probably make some comments, but let him talk and get him to pull the rope)

Mower : (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)

Owner : There. All it needed was a good jerk.

Cast: Narrator, French Person, Storekeeper, Border Guard

Narrator: This man (indicate French person) wanted to learn English so that he could go to the US to do some shopping. So he went to a store and bought a radio (transaction made with shopkeeper.) He listened to it all the time until finally, when he thought that his English was good enough, he went to the border.

Border Guard: Where are you going, Sir?

Frenchman: (Crackles a response, like radio with bad reception.)

Cast: Teacher, Kid

Setting: Classroom

Kid: (To teacher) May I go to the washroom?

Teacher: First you have to recite the alphabet.

Kid recites the alphabet BUT leaves out the letter P.

Teacher: You forgot the letter P. What happened to it?

Kid: It's running down my pants!

This is an old, old vaudeville stunt. It depends on the interaction between the players and the crowd. Overacting and showing off should be encouraged. The only prop needed is a length of rubber tubing, such as a piece of old bicycle inner tube.

The skit should be practiced, both for the greatest effect and for the protection of the Scout, who must know how to absorb the blow. The Scout turns his back to the Master of Ceremonies. He bends partly forward, and pulls the tubing over his shoulder. When the tubing is released, he falls forward and rolls toward the opposite shoulder. If he holds the tube properly, it will fly over his shoulder with a 'Snap!' He will not be hurt unless he takes the blow squarely. The Master of Ceremonies should know what is going to happen and how he should act, but he does not have to know when he will receive his long-distance phone call.

The Master of Ceremonies is presiding over a Court of Honor or a campfire. A Scout runs onto the stage and interrupts him dramatically, " I have a long distance telephone call for you!"

The Scout has a length of rubber tubing. He hands one end to the MC, explaining that this is the phone line. "I'll get the line straightened out and connect you. When I say 'Ring-Ring', you hold it up to your ear and say 'Let me have it', and you'll get your call."

The MC looks skeptical, looks at the Scout, then at the tube, then at the Scout again and finally agrees. The Scout stretches the line and says, "Ring- Ring". The MC looks at the audience, then at the Scout, and plays dumb. "What was I supposed to say?"

The Scout walks back and repeats his instructions very patiently. He rehearses the MC, making him repeat the lines. They try again. The Scout stretches the line further than before. He says, "Ring-Ring". The MC forgets again.

The Scout goes through it all again. This time he gets the audience to help by saying the key phrase, "Let me have it!" With a big grin for the audience, he repeats this several times.

This time he stretches the tube to its limits, turning his back to the MC, bending over, and holding the tube over his shoulder. He looks at the audience. "Ready?" "Ready!" "Ring-Ring."

The MC looks at the audience and grins. Now he understands. "Wait. What am I supposed to say?"

The Scout frowns at the audience, loses his temper, and calls out, "Let Me Have It!" The MC lets go.

Props: Two sheets of paper.

Scott: (Enters) Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at camp.

Robin: (Enters) Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.

Scott: Me too. Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.

Robin: Mine says I won't know the house when I come home.. They've moved !

Scott: Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Robin: Our neighbors started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it this morning.

Scott: Oh, my goodness. My little brother came home from school crying because all the other girls had new clothes and we can't afford any for him. Mom says she got him a new hat and lets him stand in the window.

Robin: There was a washing machine in the new house. But my Mom put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they disappeared. Guess it doesn't work right.

Scott: My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And, oh, my sister had a baby this morning. Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.

Robin: Oh, dear, there's a P.S. It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.

Scott: Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.

Robin: Yep. (Both exit)

(With this skit it is possible to put each girl's script on a sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were reading the letter. They should rehearse, of course, to make it sound natural.)

A transparent container (i.e. an old vase) and a coin with a string attached. The container sits on a table with a cloth over it. Have two guys start up a conversation where one tries to convince the other that the container and coin is a lie detector. The coin jumps up and down pulled by another person below the table when somebody tells the truth. The second guy doesn't believe the first guy that the vase is a lie detector. Punch line is that the girl with the container and coin says he isn't lying and that he hasn't lied in his whole life where the table falls over with the container revealing the girl underneath.

First of two guys: "This is the lighthouse sketch. We need a volunteer from the audience to be the lighthouse. Any volunteers?" (Pick a girl, but don't say you need a girl.) "OK, you are going to be the lighthouse. I need you to stand up straight right here, and don't move. Oh, you're moving! Stand straight and still."

First guy: "Now we need to row out and light the lighthouse." The two guys sit on the floor, pretending to be in a rowboat. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" They scoot along backwards to the lighthouse, like they are rowing a rowboat.

First guy: "Now it's time to light the lighthouse. Matches! Matches?"

Second guy, hitting his forehead: "We forgot the matches!"

Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back

First guy: "Matches? Good. Wick?"

Second guy: "We forgot the wick!"

Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back

First guy: "We've got the wick now? Good. Matches?

Second guy: "Um, ..."

First guy> "You forgot the matches again."

Second guy nods. Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back.

First guy: "Matches."

Second guy: "Matches."

First guy: "Wick."

Second guy: "Wick."

First guy: "Finally! Now it's time to light the lighthouse!"

Both guys kiss the girl on the cheeks, then run offstage as fast as they can. Hopefully the girl will blush, lighting the lighthouse.

Cast:

1 narrator

Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3' apart but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight is held at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts stand tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.

Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village built a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous shoal near their harbor. It's beacon could be seen for miles, even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood firm and gave safe passage to all who sailed by the village. But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs, the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse started to sag and failed at its duty."

The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their knees slightly; the light 'travels' a zig-zag path around.

Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had to call in experienced people to help with their problem. People who were pillars in their own communities and who were solid as a rock."

Recruit your favorite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls. Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.

Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation, the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands firm in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."

Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders.

-- Thanks to The U.S. Scouting Service Project

A group of scouts are out hunting along with the troop chaplain. The Troop Chaplain says "Look there goes a duck." A Scout using imaginary rifle takes a shot, and missing says something beginning with Dang. (Dang, I missed. Dang, missed again. Dang cant hit anything, etc.)

Each time the chaplain explains that he is the chaplain and cautions the Scouts for their language and that they will anger the Lord. Finally the chaplain being somewhat put outs says: "If you use that language once more, the Lord will strike you down on the spot!". Repeat the scenario, There is one, bang, Dang missed again. Then from outside of the campfire are is a loud band, One of the Scouts yells look out for the lightening, and the chaplain fall to the ground. A voice from outside the campfire says in a deep voice, "Dang! Missed Again!"

This skit is performed on a Hollywood sound stage, you have a director, cameraman and actors: Doctor, leading man and maiden. The man is on his death bed, maiden runs to call for the doctor, doctor comes and says he can't help, with the maiden at his side the man dies in her arms. The maiden sobs on the doctor shoulder. The Director every time stops the movie here and changes the directions: Too slow, too fast, too sad, too happy,. The real fun comes from the actors following the instructions, fast is running and voices like bees, slow is slow motion, etc. (when the man dies slow, it takes forever.) The last direction is do it normal, everyone performs and the director is please, the director instructs them to do it again and says to the cameraman, now put the film in the camera!

A scout comes out and begins talking about low impact camping and the importance of preserving nature. As he walks around, he sees a piece of litter and picks it up. He complains about the thoughtlessness of campers who litter. Next a scout enters and drops lots of litter in his path. Other scouts rush the littering scout and beat him up. Finally they pick up the littering scout and ask him if he has learn anything fro this experience? He answers painfully: "I learned that every litter bit hurts!"(exit holding injured parts of body.)

First scout comes on and says 'Oh no I've lost it' He then starts to search around on the floor. Second scout comes in and asks what he is looking for. First scout replies that he has lost his little green ball. Both scouts continue searching the floor. Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little green ball. even members of the audience can be persuaded to join in the search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first scout, sticks a finger up his nose and says "Don't worry I will have to make another one" YUK!!!!!

One person goes along a wall listening and listening. Others come along and ask him what he is doing. He says dramatically, "Listen," and the others do. One of them says, "I don't hear anything", in a disgusted voice. "LISTEN", he says more dramatically and they listen some more. Again someone says, "I don't hear anything." The original listener says, "You know," with a faraway look, "its been like that all day."

The instrument consists of several kneeling performers. The player strikes each on the head with a fake mallet or his fist as if playing a xylophone. Each player utters a single note when struck. Simple songs such as "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" can be played this way.

Two Scouts enter a fancy seafood restaurant, seated by Host, given menus, they study and discuss the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders. One customer orders shrimp. The second says, " I'd like a lobster tail, Please." Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but faces audience, and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster......."

Cast: Narrator, two hunters, Melican, Loon, wise man

Setting: Out in the woods

Narrator: This is the story of the little-known Melican and two hunters' efforts to capture it. For instance, watch.

The Melican, which has been dancing around during the Narrator's speech, suddenly spots the two hunters, who blunderingly, and unsuccessfully, attempt to catch the Melican. During the next speech, all actors act according to the Narrator's storyline.

Narrator: Several times our bold hunters attempt to catch this Melican; they use traps, "Melican" calls, even a sick loon. (Every once in a while the actors make appropriate comments.) But all this was to no avail. Finally, they consulted a wise man.

Hunter 1: Wise man, we have been trying to catch the Melican for quite a while, but without any success. We even tried to lure it with a sick loon, because we'd heard that it was a good idea. What do you suggest?

Wise man: (In one of those old, strained, many years-of-experience sage voices,) You have been going about it almost in the right way. But the Melican also needs a sweeter trap!

Hunter 1: (Bewildered) Uh... Thank you, Wise man! Let's go!

Hunter 2: What did he mean by a sweeter trap?

Hunter 1: I don't know. Maybe we should feed our sick loon some sugar!

Hunter 2: Sugar?

Hunter 1: Yeah! You know, like sugar cured ham!

Narrator: And so our brave hunters took a bag of sugar and forced it down the loon's throat. Ahh ... Watch now as the Melican spots our loon.

The Melican sees the loon and DIVES for it, at which point, the hunters capture the Melican.

Narrator: Out brave hunters have finally succeeded in capturing the Melican. Which, dear audience, leads to the moral of this story ... A loonful of sugar helps the Melican go down!

First girl searches the ground around the campfire.

Second girl: "What are you looking for, maybe I can help you find it.

First girl: "I dropped my neckerchief slide."

Second girl: "Where were you standing when you dropped it."

First girl: "Over there." (He points into the darkness."

Second girl: "Then why are you looking over there."

First girl: "Are you kidding? It's too dark over there. You can't see a thing."

(Small girl is sitting, crying)

Passer-by #1: (Enters) What's wrong little girl, why are you crying?

Girl : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop !

Passer-by #1: Have you looked for it ?

Girl : (Continues to sob) Oh, yes, I've looked under my bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's pocket.

Passer-by #1: I've heard that chanting often works. You think very hard about the lollipop until you can see it in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over again.

Girl : (Closing eyes tightly) Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop.

Passer-by #1: (Nods approval and strolls out)

Girl : (Continues chanting for a while, then starts crying again)

Passer-by #2: (Enters) What's wrong, little girl ?

Girl : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did, and it didn't work !

Passer-by #2: Chanted ?

Girl : Yeah, like this (Demonstrates, then starts to cry)

Passer-by #2: Don't cry little girl. Maybe we need more help.

Girl : (Turns to audience) You're my only help to get my lollipop back. Everybody, very softly now, chant with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone doing it in unison) Great ! I think it's working, keep going now.

Passer-by #1: (Re-enters) Hi little girl. Did it work ?

Girl : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot of suckers !

Number of Participants: 5 or more

Props: Flashlight

Scene: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on the ground. Another (#1) is groping around in the pool of light.

A third person enters, sees # 1, and asks: "What are you looking for ?"

# 1: "A quarter that I lost".

He joins # 1, and helps him search. A fourth and fifth enter and repeat the above scene.

Finally one of them asks # 1: "Where did you loose the quarter ?"

# 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.

Girl: "Then why are you looking here ?"

# 1: "Because the light is better over here !"

Props: Lunch bags or pails.

Announcer: We see here a construction site. It is now lunch time, and two friends are about to eat.

Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh !! Egg salad sandwiches again !

Worker 2: Look, if you hate them that bad, I'll swap with you.

(Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh !!! Egg salad sandwiches again !

Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again. (Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhh !! Egg salad sandwiches again !

Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches, why don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to make something else ?

Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to do with it. I make my own sandwiches !

The scene is a bridge where a very depressed reporter is about to jump off (the end of the stage or a platform could be the end of the bridge). The reporter says that he has had it, can't get a big story, all washed up and wants to end it all. He calls out, one, two, swinging his arms when another person shows up and asks what is going on. He tells him his sad story which encourages him to tell him his; they both get depressed and decide to jump. They call out, one, two, and another person shows up. They each tell this person their sad story and he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One, ... Two, ... Three ! All the people jump except for the reporter who runs off saying; "I've got a great story, two people jump off the bridge. Wait until the boss sees this." A building could be used as well as a bridge.

Two guys come out, one is the magician, one his not so smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and sends his assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing the audience tells Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a table by Herkimer which has a bandanna and a banana. The magician asks Herkimer to pick up the bandanna and to perform various actions such as put the bandanna in his right hand, fold it in half, fold the four corners together, stuff it in his left fist and upon one, two, three, it will disappear. However, Herkimer, picks up the banana, not the bandanna and performs these actions. At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist, for the disappearance of the bandanna, he throws the mashed up banana at the magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.

Characters required, 1 doctor and four patients. Props required, two chairs.

Scene begins with doctor sitting on one of the chairs.

First patient enters twitching their left arm.

DOCTOR: 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

Patient 1: 'As you can see doctor I have this terrible twitch'

DOCTOR: 'Just sit on my magic chair and you'll get better'

The patient sits on the chair and stops twitching, but the doctor's left arm starts twitching.

Patient 1: 'Oh thank you doctor. you cured me'

The patient leaves, the doctor still twitching calls for the next patient.

DOCTOR: ' Next '...... 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

This patient has the hiccups. The process of sitting in the chair is repeated. The doctor now has a twitch and the hiccups.

The third patient is called in, both his legs keep flicking in the air. The process is again repeated so that the doctor now has a twitching arm the hiccups and both legs flicking in the air.

The doctor now calls patient four. This patient looks quite normal, enters and sits in the magic chair.

DOCTOR: 'And what may I ask is wrong with you sir?'

Patient 4: 'I've got a terrible case of the trots doctor' The doctor runs off the stage holding his stomach.

-- Thanks to the Australian Scout Association

Mamma is washing dishes, back to baby. Baby says that he wants a drink. "Right in front of you dear", says mamma. Baby picks up green drink. Baby says that he wants Martian Cream Pie, getting real pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing the drink on the floor. Baby tells mamma that he spilled his comet juice. Mamma turns around putting out two fake arms telling the baby that she only has four arms.

Need: 3 scouts (2 older scouts and 1 Cub Scout).

(Two Scouts come on stage carrying a long pole. They prop it up, then stand back and look at it.)

Scout 1: Now, there are several ways we can figure out the height of this pole. How do you want to start?

(The Scouts unsuccessfully try various methods of estimation to calculate the height of the pole. The conversation goes something like....)

Scout 1: According to my calculations, that pole is about 2 m high.

Scout 2: There's no way. It has got to be shorter than that. Just look at it.

(This kind of exchange repeats several times as the Scouts obviously become more and more exasperated. A Cub strolls onto the stage.)

Cub: Hi! (he watches a bit) What are you guys trying to do?

Scout 2: We're trying to measure the exact height of this pole.

Scout 1: We haven't had too much luck, yet, but we'll get it.

Cub: Why don't you just lay the pole on the ground and measure its length?

Scout 1: (scornfully) Cubs!

Scout 2: I'll say. (To the Cub) Didn't you hear right? We want to know how tall the pole is - not how long it is

-- Thanks to The U.S. Scouting Service Project

Setting is the office of a famous psychiatrist. He is seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a patient with a flowerpot on his head. Another patient enters and runs around, waving his arms as if flying. Next patient keeps brushing his clothes and complains about bugs crawling on him. Doctor says: "For heaven's sake, don't brush them off on me.!"

Sergeant is drilling a group of uniformed men, who are a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt tails out, collars unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills in a march, but they go in the wrong directions, trip while turning, and so on. Finally, he has of the group marching left and the other half marching right. He instructs them to reverse direction and turn and march toward each other. Instead of passing between each other, they meet head on and all fall down. Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps among the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.

Fasten a shirt backwards around the first person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves. A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the singer hiding the second person. As the first person sings, the second person gestures with his hands. This can be done with more than one singer. Variation 1: Instead of singing have the second person trying to do various ordinary acts such eating from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking such as cracking eggs (on the narrator as one possibility) etc.

Child is told to clean room. The child hates to clean his room so he gets out his book of magic spells and use one to clean the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with clothes etc. thrown in from offstage. This happens again twice. The child decides he might as well clean up this mess and proceeds to do so. When the room is finally clean, the child is ready to throw the magic book in the garbage. The child talking to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus Pocus". More stuff flies in. The child moans not again !

Sometimes the loser loses, no matter what he tries.

A small tent is set up on stage. It should be easy to collapse, and probably should not be your best tent; it gets collapsed by the weight of several Scouts.

Two Scouts walk on stage together. They call each other "Master" and "Slave" as they discuss the trip they are taking. They notice that it is getting dark, and decide to spend the night. The Master announces that he will sleep in the tent. As he climbs into the tent, the Slave starts to come in also. The Master tells him that there is only room for one person, and that the Slave must sleep outside. The Slave protests weakly, looks disgusted, and eventually lies down on the ground. They go to sleep.

A gang of motorcyclists roars onto the far end of the stage, making motorcycle noises and pretending that they are riding. They stop, discover and point at the sleeping Slave, and discuss among themselves, "Let's get him!" They rush across the stage and beat up the Slave, who screams and calls for help. The gang rushes away, "Let's get out of here!"

The Slave rushes to the Master's tent and wakes him. He tells excitedly about the attack, and begs to sleep in the tent. The Master refuses to believe him, accuses him of inventing the story, and sends him back to sleep outside. Again they go to sleep.

The motorcycle gang reappears, and repeats the scene. The Slave is terrorized and insists on sleeping in the tent. He gets down on his knees and pleads. The Master is angry, and calls him a coward. Just to show the Slave that there is nothing to fear, the Master decides that he will stay outside and the Slave will sleep in the tent.

The motorcycle gang appears again, and confers at some length. They decide, "This time, let's get the guy in the tent!" They knock the tent down and fall on the Slave - again.

The Motorcycle Dealer introduces himself and his shop. He stocks many types of motorcycles, and they are all in excellent condition. In fact, he will demonstrate how good they are by making a sale to the next customer who walks in the door.

First, of course, he needs some volunteers from the audience. Three are selected, and each is briefed quickly as he comes to the front. (Choose scapegoats who have characteristics similar to the motorcycle they will represent.) The first is to go slowly when started. The second will go very fast, almost losing its rider. The third should not go anywhere. They are lined up on their hands and knees facing the crowd. "Now," says the Dealer, "You can see what fine motorcycles I have."

A Scout walks in and asks if he has any motorcycles for sale. Of course, the Dealer is eager to show his stock.

This first one is a Smith (use the victim's name). It's only 200 cc's, but a nice little machine. The Dealer makes his sales pitch and invites the Buyer to go for a ride. The Buyer straddles the Smith, raises himself up and mimics using the kick starter. The Buyer makes motorcycle noises, not very energetically. He 'rides' (actually straddles and walks) the Smith around in a slow circle, returning to the starting point. "That's too slow," says the Buyer, "Do you have anything more powerful?"

The next motorcycle is a 1000 cc Yablonski. Again the Buyer climbs aboard and operates the kick starter. The Yablonski roars to life and races around in a circle. The Buyer can barely hold on. "That's too fast! I could kill myself on that one!"

The Dealer says he thinks he has just the right one, a Jones that he recently received on trade-in. It's in good condition and has about the right power. The Buyer climbs on and tries to start. He makes sputtering noises. After several trials, he complains that something just isn't right because the Jones won't start. He gets off and stands looking at the motorcycle.

The Dealer yells angrily to Joe, who is offstage, "Joe! I thought I told you to put gas in the Jones!"

Joe replies, "Sorry Boss! I'll do it right now!" Joe enters quickly with a bucket or gas can and pours water onto the rear end of the Jones.